The morning blinks

Mike Bush (my co-worker): The list is already at 197!!
Me: Oh I know! There are already two people dumber than me!!

I signed up for my class schedule for the entire first year of pharm school and it's CRAZY. All science classes it looks like. I'm even taking Pharmacy 101. *snicker* Mine is Block 2. Winter semester looks ridiculously easy but I know that can't be right.

Oh man, I'm off to have lunch with Shurti. :D

EDIT: I just found out that I got an A in Human Physiology. :D

I'm on the edge of everything

O MY GOSH MY CLASS IS OVER!!! You guys got like a double bonus this week. I'll no longer complain about how slow the waiting list is moving, and I'll no longer complain about how shitty my class is! Merry Christmas!! :D

I think I did very well on my final, and leaving the classroom for the last time was a little bittersweet. Officially now it was my last class at WMU. I even withdrew from my fall classes I'd signed up for already. It feels good and bad and weird all at the same time. ...It's over.

The pharmacists got me a cake today and it was delicious. I ate so much frosting that I felt like puking--but it was a happy pukey feeling. :)

Ok, first of all, people on my street speed a lot. Secondly (and most annoyingly), nobody has a muffler. No really, it's so annoying. And my street seems to amplify the sound so I can hear it for what seems like miles. I can remember trying to write my lab papers every week and hearing that horrible ceaseless farting car noise driving me so crazy that at times I was tempted to pull my cerebral cortex out of my nose. Ugh.

So it's summer vacation technically now. What do I want to do? I'll be working at the pharmacy part time until late August, but I really want to work out everyday, paint and draw again, clean my bathroom because it's embarassing, and enjoy the time I have left with Kzoo before I go. I kick it all off with a bang this Friday evening when I leave on my groovy road trip up north.

It's finally here--all the moments I've been waiting for. :D

Shruti: "I will be sad to see you leave, but I will be truly
happy to see you where you most want to go."

I got my acceptance letter from Ferris today. Like, holy crap that was fast. It wasn't too fluffy, just congratulations, pay us money, finish up that last pre-pharmacy course, yadda yadda yadda. So I wrote out my admissions fee check and it's in the mail.

BEST $200 I'VE EVER SPENT. :D

When Time Stopped

So today it happened, and what a very long process it has been. Many of you have been there with me from the beginning, even before pharmacy took a hold of me. I can still recall the moment I let go of my dream to become a veterinarian--sitting in the grass behind the Lee Honors College, sobbing to my parents on the phone about how broken down and defeated I felt. I think that's the worst I've ever felt in my whole life--the one moment when my future fell apart and shattered around my feet. Then came pharmacy.

The letter of rejection I received in April was not unexpected--I'm smart, but I'm no genius. I knew what I was up against when I started this, and I was fully prepared to take the fall. The waiting list slowly climbed to my number, and even though I've known for a while now (as you all have) that it would reach that fateful 195, I still felt breathless when I finally saw it. For a moment the world stopped spinning, everything disappeared, and it was just me and that feeling. Even after thinking about it now for an entire day, I still find it difficult to find the words to describe it.

In a gracious attempt however, I felt exhilarated. My heart swelled up and the grin came to my face, where it has remained ever since. I felt proud of myself for the first time in my life. What I've just accomplished is not easy. I'm a student three years younger than the average, going into one of the top three pharmacy colleges in the country, on only one PCAT score and on my first try. Do your research and eventually it will mean as much to you as it does to me. It's by far the best thing I've ever done. It blows Valedictorian out of the water, and stomps all over the Dean's List. It's so intimidating and overwhelming that it scares the hell out of me, yet at the same time I'm already hopelessly in love with it. This is my destiny taking over.

Reality hit me like an unmerciful brick wall almost immediately as I realized what would be expected of me in just a few months. Not only will the classes kick my ass, but the thought of being in yet another environment full of total strangers is enough to turn even my gills a little white. But the thrill of my excitement pushed it down for later. This day is one I've been waiting on for a long, long time. Longer than perhaps even I realize.

I took an exam today and didn't even think about it while I was taking it. All I could focus on was the phrase "I got into pharmacy school" over and over and over in my head. And when I was all finished and checked my answers--I'd done very well. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if I aced the damn thing. I was silently freaking out and crawling around in my own brain. I wanted to hug my parents and sit down and cry. I wanted to go back to that child I used to be, holding my mother's hand in the grocery store. Go back before it was too late and I was a grown up.

My phone rang off the hook with congratulations from friends and family. My coworkers hugged me, I got emails from people I hardly know. And this is where the spotlight turns to you. To the crowd that has been cheering me on for so long now. Where oh where would I be without your support?

Your enthusiasm has fueled my excitement and maintained my bravery, preventing me from chickening out. My amazing support group seemed to come out of the woodwork and surround me like a reinforced concrete barrier. I realized just how many people care about me these past few weeks. And because I know I couldn't have done it without you, I have to give credit now where credit is due.

So here is to every one of my friends. There are so many of you who have cheered me on like proud parents from the sideline. Often times I would come home from class to your messages on my computer and your comments in my blogger informing me of the latest waiting list movement. This has happened so frequently the past two weeks that I didn't even have to check the list myself anymore! Your belief in me is exceptionally touching, and I will never forget how it has made me feel.

Here's to my family, who have always seen my true potential. I would've given up long ago without you, and I know there will be many times in the years ahead that I will want to give up again--you'll have to tell me not to. In fact, I'll need you to tell me not to. I strive each day to make you proud--that means far more to me than my own success. I hope one day you will realize just how much of myself I attribute to you.

Here's to my coworkers, who have been an amazing source of information and support. I learned far more from your lessons than I ever did in class.

And last but certainly not least, here's to Jeeber. If anyone deserves a pat on the back, it's you. You've tolerated my obsessive study habits, my fits of frustrated tears, and my ceaseless worrying. Through all my insanity you've been solid, and each new day your excitement for this dream of mine gives me the courage to continue pursuing it. The next few years will be hard for both of us, but I know now I can go forward without fear, for you will be there with me every step of the way. I do this for you, for us, far more than I could ever do it just for myself. You are my future.

Thank you to everyone, for reading this and for believing in me. I love you all so much. Now let's put the effing list to bed shall we? ;D

KRISTEN WINS!!!

**************
*****!!!195!!!******
**************

THIS IS THE BEST MONDAY EVER EVER EVER!!
I'LL WRITE A TON MORE LATER AFTER I SCOOP MY BRAIN OFF MY FLOOR!!!
EEEEEEEEE!!
*FLAILS*

Mike: "They put a ladder against their house so they can climb up on the roof while drinking... *long pause* Darwin must be standing nearby."

The downhill slide

O man, only two more days of class. Of course both days involve big nasty exams, but at least I don't have to sit there and struggle to stay awake through another boring lecture.

This weekend has been strangely relaxing so far. On Thursday night I went to a cookout party that some of Mike's classmates were throwing to celebrate the end of their unit plan projects (Mike stayed up the entire night finishing his...) and they had spectacular pork loins. Mmm. Yesterday I slept in sooo late like a complete lazy person, then I did absolutely none of my homework until Jillian called me up and we hung out for the evening, which was great fun as always. Today I plan on actually studying and cleaning, then tomorrow we're heading up north (I think) for one of Mike's cousins who's having an open house party.

This week will kind of suck. Like I said I have two exams and I have to work on Friday. Boooo. But Friday evening kicks off the first day of my groovy 4th of July vacation, and when I come back it's my birthday! Class will officially be over and extreme greatness will ensue for the rest of the summer. :D

Ok, I just have to say that those ab-roller thingys are amazing. No no, I'm not kidding. I may be pale but I've got a killer abdominal region now thanks to five minutes of ab-rolling a day. I recommend.

I'm about twenty minutes away from finishing my final lab report OMG I'M SO HAPPY!!

I think that's all for now. Toodle-loos, pippy pip and all that wot.

Update

Ferris moved the wait list number to the main admissions page for some reason. Check it obsessively at:

195!!

And now for something besides the stupid list, a new pic to celebrate the beginning of summer. :)

EDIT: You know, this is stupid and not important I guess, but the number looked a helluva lot cooler on the old page. Pfft.

OMG!! DID YOU SEE??
DID YOU SEE?????

I'M FREAKIN' OUT!!!

This is it. This week or next. I can hardly believe it, and I'm still scared to think it outloud. But what the hell, let's play a game.

Bets on what day. I'm sayin' next Wednesday.

Winner gets their name in giant caps when it hits.

P. S.--Kristen you should most definitely comment. You know you want your name in my journal. :*

Rounding third base and coming home....

You know something? They say the real world sucks ass too, but at least I won't have to study for it.

I'm not doing my homework

So I forgot to mention how I was walking home from work last Friday, a very humid day if I recall, and I was about a block from my apartment when I glanced into the backyard of one of my many rowdy neighbors. A young man was standing outside with a beer in his hand, staring at me, and he was completely naked. No clothes at all. I even kept staring from behind the shelter of my sunglasses to make sure I had seen correctly, but he was as nekkid as the day he was born.

And he had a really small peen. *shudders*

It occured to me today that for the remainder of the week we'll be discussing the reproductive system in Human Phys. (so long as we're on the subject of peen). I'm actually a little excited, because up until this point every science course I've ever had has very conveniently skipped over reproduction altogether, as if we wouldn't notice. Wtf?

Perhaps I shouldn't complain about the waiting list, as it is only five precious seats away from my number (in fact, maybe I should be peeing myself in graditude), but you know something, it's driving me insane. I can't even tell you how irritated I am with it. I don't really care if it's five away any more because I feel like the damn thing is taunting me. Now that it's this close I just want it to go and get there so I can be truly happy about it like everyone else, instead of fearing disappointment. No to mention it'll be nice to worry about something else for a change, like how I'll pay for pharmacy school, where I'll live, and how shitty it'll be to leave behind everything I've found for myself here in Kalamazoo. I'm so tired of checking it every ten minutes, and yet tomorrow I know I'll do the same thing I've been doing since April--and I'll do it gladly.

Ugh, I need to stop thinking about it. I need a vacation. Two more weeks.

Hot-t-t

Many apologies for my severe lack of updating lately. I'm normally quite the obsessive compulsive updater, but lately I've been bogged down with quite a load. I've got two labs to finish (eight pages each), a puzzler due Wednesday I haven't even looked at, a new lab on Tuesday, a lab final on Thursday, and two exams (one being the final) next week. And somewhere in there I have to squeeze in the other things essential to survival, like eating, sleeping, and doing my hair.

Speaking of hair, Kate did mine yesterday during the only break I allowed myself this weekend. It's stuuuupendous and I love it so much! She always does such a great job. It'll definitely be nicer for this summer weather with that hair off my neck. Perhaps if I get really crazy I could even try to pull of the rockstar look with those red lowlights. ;-)

I also have two kittens sleeping in my bathroom at the moment, but more on that later as well. Hopefully I'll have some time to come up for air in the next day or two to satisfy my endearing public. :*

Happy Father's Day

No matter how old I get
Or how far I go
Please remember that I'm still yours

Because I've always been a Daddy's Girl

190!! *squee!*

Kate: I will touch anyone's coochie if they pay me $150!

You know something, it's shameful how long I've gone without updating my blogger. Shameful I say, and I have no good excuse.

So let me just get this out of the way real quick: 190! 190!! 190!!! OMG!!! THE LAST MILESTONE BEFORE MY RISE TO COMPLETE AWESOMENESS!! Dare I get excited? Dare I feel confident? I would--but that just wouldn't be me. I promised myself I wouldn't give in until it got there, and if I've made it this far I can make it the rest of the way. I will admit here that I think about it constantly. Constantly. How can I not? And each time that number jumps I lose slight bladder control.

I talked to Beth today for a loooooooong time. So long in fact that my battery completely died on my phone and I didn't even get to say goodbye. :( I miss her and Matt so much. She's been such an awesome friend to me for as long as I can remember, and I cherish relationships like that so much. I also got to speak with my Daddy today, as this day marks 26 years of marriage between he and my Mom. I miss him a lot too. I think I told him so half a dozen times. I miss his stupid jokes, and his razor on my bathroom counter. I love living here in Kalamazoo with Mike, but sometimes I do miss my home.

Yesterday I had lunch with Shruti at Coffee Works and I think I broke every single rule they had. I sat in the "laptop users only" section, I brought in food from Wendy's, and I didn't purchase anything off the Coffee Works menu. I didn't just bend the rules--I broke them the heck off.

I'm very excited for my birthday. The weekend before Kate, Dave, Mike and I are all going up north to Mike's cabin to ring in the 4th of July in style. I'm so excited. Good friends, no homework, a sandy beach, and Mike. I couldn't ask for a better end to this dreadful semester. And on Wednesday night (my birthday) South Haven is shooting off fireworks, so I'm thinking that's where I'll be. :D

I'm on the verge here. I can feel it. Things are about to change and I feel like I'm caught in the most exhilarating whirlwind ever. I can't wait to let it all out. I can't wait. But I won't until it moves five more.

*grump*

I wonder if the guys shredding tree branches outside my apartment windows realize it's nine o'clock in the morning. I wonder if they realize it sounds like they're cutting through the Earth's crust.

Watch out--I babble

Robin Williams: I call it my lipo-car. It runs off a small liposuction machine which you hook into fat kids.

I'm being so bad right now. Ok ok, so I had lab this morning at nine right, I got out at noon, and now I don't have work or class again until Monday. So this is awesome! I have plenty of time to get my homework done early and relax for a day or two. So what do I do? Nothing. I've done absolutely nothing. And I didn't do I whole lot last night either. I want to hit myself. Why do I do this? Why do I procrastinate so??? Now I'll be forced to spend one or two of my class/work-free days sitting inside with my nasty-ass homework. Ugh.

In other news, I learned how to take blood pressure today! :D And I got to see my heart rate on an ECG (electrocardiogram). Apparently I either have a very small heart or it doesn't beat very strongly because my heart rate was much smaller in scale than anyone else in my group. Anyway, it was cool, and with this new knowledge I now know Everything. Yes, Everything.

Um.... Oh! I also got Monday before the 4th of July off so that I'll have a four and a half day weekend to take my little vacation with the lovely Kate and the handsome Dave (and of course that Jeeber kid who always follows me around...). I am o so excited. :D

Oook I know that was boring but sometimes I'm like that. Only 8 away beotches--countdown to party time!!

Sleepy rambles

Man am I tired of homework. I probably say this a lot but it's as true now as it has ever been.

My Grandma is doing much better and has been taken off life support. In fact, I think she's a little pissed right now that she has to remain in the hospital, but that just goes to show you that she's a tough ol' bird. I knew she'd pull through. :)

Mike is finishing up his pre-internship this week and I'm so happy for him. He finally got a little taste of the rest of his life but man has he been busy. Busier than me even and if you know me (which you do), that's saying a lot.

I got a little giddy about the waiting list yesterday--not gonna lie. I mean I regretted it immediately because of course it didn't budge today, but I feel like I've crossed a barrier. 36 down, less than ten to go. That's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. That damn list is like the gravitational force that is beginning to drive me off of my rocker.

My birthday is coming up and I'm so excited. I've got some awesome plans. Me. Plans. Mostly I feel like I'm about to cross over into another part of my life (no, not the "let's get drunk legally" part, but something far greater). The rest of my life is on the other side of this summer. I'm doing well and taking it all in stride. I have to be patient and brave, both of which I need to work on--I've never been very good at either.

Only three more weeks of having no life. :D

I'M ONLY NINE AWAY FROM BEING A PHARMACY SCHOOL BADASS!! NINEEEEEE!

IT'S GETTING SO CLOSE I'M STARTING TO FREAK OUT AND FEEL NERVOUS AND GIDDY AND OMGOSH I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IF IT MOVES TOMORROW!! EEEEEE!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

Don't mess with me

Me: And if she were there I'd tell her exactly what she's walking out on. I'd be like, "You dumbass, people would give their first born children to catch a deal like this."
Jillian: she'd just tell you how stupid you were.
Me: I'll just give her a long list of reasons why history has proven me to NOT be stupid... And then i'll poop in her car.


:D

I love the fishes 'cause they're soooo delicious!!

Dave: Guns kill people like spoons made Rosie O'Donnell fat.

Not yet

If praying is what you do send one up for my Grandma today. She just had a very bad heart attack and is on life support. I'm so glad I called her before she went into surgery. So glad I called that I almost I feel like crying.

I love her so much.