Alright FINE

Sometimes after arriving home I keep my coat on for about a half an hour, just because I'm too lazy to take it off. Beat that!

I know it's been awhile since I've updated, but I've got to be honest, I'm not as full of interesting blog material as I was in my college days. I consider the first two years of grad school to be my prime in that sense. Back then I could blog up to three times a day and it might actually be worth reading at least once! Now, I'm lucky if I can put together an entry once a week/month and be happy once it's finished. I suppose I've lost my touch. Most of my writing ideas stem from my career, and I'm acutely aware that no one is nearly as interested in pharmacy as I am, so why make anyone needlessly suffer?

Could my blog be on its last legs?? Because thinking of just that scenario makes me horribly sad, I might give it some more time and see what I can pull out of my ass. This place has been with me from almost the beginning of a transformation that made me who I am today. I owe it to continue as long as I can. In the mean time, I suppose whoever might be reading this is wondering what's been going on in my exciting life! Well! Let me tell you!

I still haven't mastered a work/life balance. I feel like I spend a lot of time working (or driving to work) and very little time doing everything else. It's probably not that bad (I'm a big, whiny baby). But it was especially hard this time of year because I usually have weeks leading into the holiday season during which I can simply enjoy being at home and being lazy, whereas this year I had.... one day. That was a total bummer. It was hard only seeing my family for a few hours, and only seeing Mike's family for a few hours, before returning to work and my normal routine. Although Christmas Eve and Day were spectacular! Mike and I spent a few hours in the car but we got to see everyone at least for a little while and I loved that so much! I still got to see my parents Christmas tree, my puppy, my stocking stuffed full, a wrapping paper war, and a three-part meal at Grandma's house. I can remember sitting on Grandma's couch talking to my cousin about working, Mike sitting next to me, and realizing that I'd reached that point. That point when I'm considering a real, contributing to society grownup. It felt good and bad at the same time. I've worked so hard to get there, but there were advantages to being a kid. Like more time with loved ones.

We've been married for six months now, and I can hardly believe how fast time has gone, and how much we've accomplished since that sweltering hot day in June. My life is so completely different that it's at times hard to keep up with it. I love it. I love everything about it, even the things that drive me crazy, like driving 100 miles round trip everyday to work at a pharmacy I've come to love. You know what I do for those 100 miles? I put my favorite tunes on my ipod and crank that shit up so loud. Sometimes I call people too, and the miles just fall away. I daydream. I think about the long, winding road that I traveled to get here and I strive to appreciate what I have now, lest I forget how valuable it all is to me.

Mike and I didn't exchange gifts for Christmas. We've been sleeping on his college futon since we were married, and decided instead to put some money towards getting a new bed. Today we went to Grand Rapids and picked out a queen size frame and mattress. It comes in two weeks and I'm SO EXCITED I COULD PEE!!!

I'll post pictures, so you'll be sure to get an update then, you whiny, greedy little bastards.

SmurfVille

So, there's my real job and then there's the "stuff I do in addition to my real job" everyday. For the additional stuff, it can be broken down into two parts. Part 1: telling people where they can find random shit in the store, like eyebrow wax, dog food, breast pumps, etc. Part 2: playing police officer to all the drug-seeking fools that use prescription drugs for non-medical purposes. Some pharmacists don't give a hoot if someone is abusing Vicodin, or phenergan with codeine, or any other number of desirable substances, but I'm not one of those pharmacists. I am a pharmacist who went to school to help people get better, not to help people get high.

However, as annoying and draining as it can be, I do come home with some pretty interesting stories.

Patient: My Ultram was 10 days too early five days ago, but I'm going out of town and I need to get it!

Me: Your doctor instructed me to NOT fill it early.

Patient: He did?! But I'll be out of town! How am I supposed to get it when I'm gone??

Me: Where are you going?

Patient: California....

Me: Well, there are plenty of pharmacies in California, so you should be in good shape.

Patient: .....

SHUT DOWN!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

Technician: Don't run it through her insurance--she wanted to pay cash for it.

Me: Of course she did. Run it through anyway and find out why.

Technician: ....... She just had it filled 3 days ago somewhere else.

SHUT DOOOOOOOWN!

Me: Your doctor called in an antibiotic and some cough medicine for you today.

Patient: I don't want the antibiotic--just the cough syrup.

Me: You can't have the cough syrup without picking up the antibiotic.

Patient: But I can't afford both!

Me: In that case I'm sure your body needs the antibiotic more.

OH SNAPZ

I'm like the f-ing Pentagon. I didn't learn this in pharm school--I got these mad skillz all on my own. :D

I also got a random romantic letter from a patient responding to my "flirting" which apparently took place while I administered his flu shot. I guess that will teach me to be more of an asshole to people from now on.

Big Girl

I've felt a lot older lately, but in a good way. Even though I've been working as a pharmacist for months now, I still catch myself multiple times per week feeling like I can't believe I finally made it. I dreamed about this part of my life, and now everyday I get up and get to do it for real. It's hard work, this real life, but I'm so in love with it. I chose well. I'm so happy that I didn't give up or get discouraged. I'm relieved that when it was all over I still had enough passion to take enjoyment from it everyday.

I get along really well with my pharmacist partner. Together we run a tight ship and we're blessed with a fantastic team of technicians. I even got a name plate! I was so giddy (and dorky) over this that I even took a picture of it. :P I got my first plea for donations from FSU this week, and even though I loved their pharmacy program and I owe it a lot, I told myself that I wouldn't be donating to the college until after my students loans were paid off. I start paying those back in just a couple of weeks. I'd like to be free of them in six years, but we'll see how it goes and where life will take us.

Nick and Colleen got married!! I'm so happy for those two! We've been double-dating together since because I started grad school, and because Nick and Mike are best friends, I know we'll enjoy many more adventures together. :) Mike was the Best Man and I got to be a bridesmaid! I got to enjoy a morning of luxury with Colleen and her posse before the ceremony. We had our hair and makeup done by professionals! :D I've never had my makeup done before. I thought it looked very nice but I still don't think anyone knows my face/skin quite like I do. Colleen looked stunning and the wedding was lovely! They're currently wrapping up a two-week honeymoon in Europe! Can't wait to hear all about it (and finally go see Paranormal Activity 2!).

We bought a new car! It was becoming something of a necessity, especially with me driving an hour to work each day. We really wanted something safer, larger, more reliable, and that would last us quite a few years. We saved up some money and went car shopping about three weeks ago, and we finally settled on this Pretty! A 2008 Chevy Malibu. :) We are loving it!!! In fact, we're taking it on it's first road trip up to Traverse City later today. So excited!! I actually look forward to driving to/from work now! :)

They decorated the pharmacy for Christmas this week (God bless department stores). Even though I'm not ready for snow and cold for the next 5 months, I'm really very excited for the holidays. This will be the first time I'll get to enjoy them school-free!! I can't wait to get our new Christmas tree and decorate it, and I really want to get creative with wrapping presents this year. Maybe we'll send out a Christmas card--I've always wanted to do that! This will be my first Christmas waking up next to Mike.

Like I said, this is the time of my life I've been waiting all my life for. :)

Things That Drive Me Crazy-Bat-Shit in the Pharmacy, Part 1

• My pharmacy is very long and rectangular, with the pick up/drop off window at one end. I tend to work in the middle. Patients love to walk up to the window and clear their throat loudly, drop their keys on the counter, or otherwise make a ruckus to get my attention. I KNOW YOU'RE F-ING THERE! Can't I finish what I'm freaking doing first??
• When people come up to me for a flu shot and answer my question of "Have we filled medicine for you before?" with "Oh I get all my scripts filled at WALGREENS." A simple "no" would suffice.
• When people give me a hard time for closing my pharmacy for lunch. Do you have a job? Do you get to eat something at your job? SO DO I, ASSHOLE.
• When people come up to the counter at two minutes to close and have a bitching fit when I tell them it will be ready tomorrow.
• When people ask me for advice, and then blatantly disregard it and do whatever the hell they wanted to do in the first place.
• When Sudafed-ers tie up my technicians. I don't have time for their bullshit.
• Whenever I get a Phenergan with Codeine script along with an antibiotic, and the patient ONLY WANTS THE COUGH SYRUP SO THEY CAN GET HIGH. OMG who are you trying to fool?? Do you seriously think I'm stupid?!!?
• When people try to tell me that they're taking drugs that don't exist, and when I tell them they don't exist, they act like I'm a complete idiot.
• When people tell me I'm too young to be a pharmacist.
• When people call the pharmacy and leave me a message on the voicemail, asking me to call them back. WASTE OF TIME.
• When people say, "But I have refills left! My bottle says so!!" after I tell them I can't refill it because their prescription is expired. Do you drink the milk after it expires just because there's some left?
• When people scream at me for "losing" their prescription only to come in the next day with it, realizing it was on their f-ing dining room table at home the whole time. No apologies either for the screaming at me part.
• When people think we're not busy just because there isn't a line.
• Whenever the doctor's office tells a patient that their prescription is ready at the pharmacy. That f-ing nurse/doctor/asshole doesn't know anything about what's going on in my pharmacy. And guess who gets yelled at?
• When patients leave me voicemail messages that are 98% babbling. Unfortunately, the 2% of important stuff is at the end of the message, which forces me to listen to the whole damn thing to get it.
• When patients start off a conversation by saying, "So I had some extra drugs from last time left over..."
• Whenever a patient interrupts me while I'm counseling another patient. THAT IS SO RUDE OMG.
• When I say "Sign and click 'OK'" and they click OK and then try to sign. IDIOTS.
• When people treat the pharmacy like a check out lane. I have have significantly more important shit to do than ring up your new clothing, your groceries, and your electronics. I'm trying to save lives here.
• Rude people. Someday, in my dream pharmacy, I'm going to have a sign which states boldly, "RUDENESS WILL REQUIRE AN EXTRA 15 MINUTES TO FILL YOUR PRESCRIPTION," and any asshole that gives me sass will be referred to the sign.

To be Continued...

____________

Less about work and more about my personal life in the next exciting episode!

Sudafed-ers

People use the ingredient in Sudafed to make bad drugs, which is rotten news for me because our brilliant government has put all products containing psuedoephedrine behind the counter. Which basically means that every f-ing hipster who wants a package of 12 hours has to go through me first. After a pathetic three months as a full-fledged pharmacist, I'm already a Jedi at spotting these people from a mile away, mostly because they are brainless idiots.

Chicks usually come in alone and look like crack whores, but guys come in in pairs (how many men does it take to buy a package of Sudafed?). The person buying is typically more of a dumbass than his buddy. The buddy is there to make sure the buyer "gets the right one." Because in the REAL world--the world where people buy Sudafed for the ACTUAL sniffles--people don't care whether their bro from the hood has to take his Sudafed every 4 hours or every 12 hours. Only people who want it for other reasons give a shit.

Idiot: "No no dude, you want the twelve hour one, because you don't have to take it as much!"

Another Idiot: "I'll have to check with my mom first to make sure the 4-6 hour one will work just as well."

And by his mom he means the douche waiting in the van in the parking lot. Who do you think you're fooling???

Today I saw two Sudafed-ers down the cough and cold aisle after ringing someone up. They were shifty and glancing over at me too much, which only half gave them away. The other half had to do with the fact that they hadn't showered in about a week, and they had puke stains on the front of their shirts. I told my technician that they'd be coming up asking for it, and that he should tell them that we're out. Like clockwork, they came up to the counter and did the "dance" with my technician. The "sorry we're out of stock" dance. Usually this involves the douchebags acting all suspicious of us, as if certain that we pulled it off the shelve just to deny them purchasing it. Then they start asking about the "24 hour one" which doesn't exist, and eventually they end up buying the 4 - 6 hour package (because they are brainless idiots, as I already mentioned). My technician comes back over to the counter where I'm working, and I declare that in less than ten minutes they'll be back to return the package because their Leader will have informed them that they got the wrong kind. Sure enough, moments later he was back and my poor technician was tied up for ten minutes doing the refund.

Like I said, I'm a f-ing Jedi.

For Future Reference...

I should start keeping a record of all the ridiculous excuses patients come up with to get their controlled medications prescriptions filled early. Today alone would lengthen such a list significantly. Let's enjoy! :D

Patient: "But I'm out!"

Me: "We gave you thirty day supply 13 days ago."

Patient: "Then how do you explain this??"

________

Patient: "I'm going out of town, so I'll need that filled early."

Me: "Okay. For how long will you be out of town?"

Patient: "Two weeks."

Me: "..... You still have enough to last 21 more days."

Patient: "It'll probably be longer than two weeks then!"

________

Me: "I can fill it but I'm going to need to verify with the doctor about this dose change."

Patient: "You can't call my doctor! He doesn't take calls!"
Me: "..... Okay, yes he does."

Patient: "He won't speak to pharmacists!"

________

Me: "You've been taking it four times a day?! Your doctor prescribed it for once daily."

Patient: "But if I don't get my clonazepam filled I'll have a panic attack and GO BLIND!"

________

I couldn't make better shit up.

Back By Popular Demand

It's been an awkwardly long period of time since I updated my blog, and I guess at least two people are distraught over this. So, in a valiant effort to not disappoint my fans, I'm back by popular demand!

My life has been somewhat hectic lately, which partially explains my lack of blog posts. I've been working most of the time and trying to figure out a routine for the periods of time that I'm not working. I've started my new position in Lansing as an Executive Pharmacist, and so far that's been going very well! Although in my effort to impress my pharmacy manager, I've been working my friggin' lady balls off! I used to imagine that pharmacists get paid what they get paid because the schooling was long, expensive and very difficult, but now I know that being an actual pharmacist is just a lot of hard work. I love it-- even the long, stressful or bad days--but it is every bit as challenging as school was, and there are many more days than not that I go home mentally exhausted. I also experience bad dreams (anxiety dreams) quite often, which I'm told go away with time. I worry about making errors a lot, and battle with my low self-confidence often. I'm not sure how to describe this transformation that is happening inside me, but I will say this--the transition didn't end when I graduated school, or even when I passed the boards. Perhaps the most important part of me being a pharmacist is happening even right now, as I learn every day more and more what I'm meant to do.

Mike started school back up this week. His teaching position (which he occupied over the last two years) was eliminated due to budget cuts. He's managed to maintain a job position at the high school, but what he's meant to do on a day to day basis isn't quite as clear as usual. Right now he's helping to teach Journalism and developing a Writing Across the Curriculum... curriculum. I admire him during times like this. He's very brave and accepting of everything--even things he isn't pleased over. I'm not so sure that the average person has his ability to cope.

Tomorrow we're double-dating it up to Traverse City with Nick and Colleen for a long wine-tasting weekend! :D I'm so excited!! I've been working a lot lately so it'll be nice for a break, and we always have a great time with those two. I'll be sure to take pictures (as usual).

And now for something completely irrelevant-- my iPhone automatically corrects things which I spell wrong or letters which I might put in the wrong order when I'm searching web browsers, Facebooking, or texting. My computer doesn't do that, and IT MAKES ME ANGRY.

Sleep time.

Things

I just took my iPhone to the bathroom with me to perform some updates, and I was sitting there for so long that I created more urine twice. This may be due in part to the two apple sangrias I just had, but whatever. Do you feel closer to me now? >:-D

I also changed my contact lenses today. I'm not so sure I've complained about my contacts yet in my blog. I HATE my contacts. In fact, they just came out with daily disposable contacts which I'm eagerly awaiting to switch to as soon as my current prescription expires. My contact lenses have been responsible for giving me chronic dry eye, red eye, and an ulcer. OMG. I can't tell you the number of times I've seriously considered switching back to glasses, but I haven't let myself go through with it yet. It's getting to the point, however, that I'm so angry when I change my contact lenses that I rip them into tiny shreds and curse at them as I throw their useless carcasses into the trash after two weeks of use. *angry black cloud of hate*

And now for more relevant things.

I learned (again) how to give intramuscular and subcutaneous (beneath the skin) injections today, in preparation for flu season coming up soon. Because pharmacists are allowed to give injections in the great state of Michigan (*snicker*), I was required to become certified. We learned this before in a laboratory I had in pharmacy school, but today was even more delightful! Instead of stabbing a random colleague once with a needle, I got to stab them three times! :D Of course, I also got stabbed three times myself, so I guess that's karma. I also updated my CPR certification, so if you happen to choke, have a heart attack, almost drown or otherwise stop breathing in my presence, I might just be able to save your ass.

The pharmacy business partner in my district officially offered me the position in the Lansing store which I mentioned. I eagerly accepted! :D

Tomorrow I work for 12 hours all by my little lonesome and then the hubby and I are driving up to Lake Huron for a much needed, much deserved 3-day siesta from reality. B-)

Finally

Yesterday I was the pharmacist. In the morning I opened the gate, ran it smoothly all day, and at closing I shut it down. I find myself appreciating the years and years of prep that made me ready for that day. Look at me.

I'm finally, finally doing it for real.

Bathroom Etiquette

Mike: You pinch that shit until everyone leaves or wait for a toilet to flush!

_______________

Guest: Where can I find Tylenol?

Me: I'm sorry but all Tylenol brands have been recalled until September.

Guest: Oh my. *distraught* What am I supposed to use then??

Me: ...Well, you can still use acetaminophen. That's the same medication as Tylenol just not the brand name.

Guest: *wide-eyed* Oh no. I couldn't do that.

Me: *head/desk*

_______________

You know, it really doesn't matter how many times I go ape-shit over this topic, it just never seems to get old. Or to phase itself out. People are just dumb-asses and it seems like that's not going to change any time soon. No matter how many patients I try to convince that the active ingredient in Tylenol is the same damn thing as the active ingredient in the generic product, I just can't seem to make a difference in the world. The difference between generic and brand name Tylenol is like $3 or something. Nothing else. And you can tell Them I said that.

Which brings me to the similar topic of immunizations linked to Autism. Of course, there is no link, but various ignorant people continue to believe so because one time ten years ago they saw it on Rosie O'Donnell's show or something just as silly. The mountain of scientific evidence to suggest the LACK of association between vaccines and Autism is overwhelming, and NO (I repeat--NO) evidence exists ANYWHERE to prove otherwise. OMG. But there are groups of people in the world who believe things just because, and they simply cannot be told or shown any different. I suppose I should simply give up, but I just can't.

Alright. I'm done with those soapboxes for now.

Being a pharmacist is going swimmingly. This is my last week of training, so starting a week from tomorrow I'll be flying solo for the first time--my last giant leap in this journey. After that a few months of nervousness and low self-esteem will follow and then I'll spend the rest of my life feeling like a badass. Sweet. My employer seems to really like me. I might even have a store placement right out of training in Lansing, which I'm extremely excited about! :D It feels good to get a paycheck every two weeks and contribute (finally) to my cost of living. I've also rewarded myself a little here and there, which at first induced a lot of guilt but I got over it. Okay maybe I'm still getting over it. Whatever.

Mike is doing well, always on the prowl to improve our internet connectivity! ;) Lately we've been day-dreaming about buying a house which is exciting even if we're not ready yet. It's fun to think about even going through that together. We're considering going up to the cabin the weekend after next to get some swimming/sailing in before it turns frigid and awful again.

Which reminds me. I'm so excited for fall (as usual) because I love to wear jeans, light jackets, hoodies and sweaters. I also love the slightly cooler weather and the leaves changing. But for some reason this year all I can think about is that as soon as fall gets here, winter will quickly follow. The only thing I like about winter is Christmas, that's it. After that we get stuck with two and a half months (at least) of snow storms, treacherous driving conditions, dark by five o'clock, and so f-ing cold your cheeks freeze.

Uuuugh.

Long Time

It's been a while. Such a long while in fact that it's awkward. Tomorrow I will return as if this siesta never happened and write something witty about my life. The witty part might be a lie to fluff it up though. ;)

Life After School

I've spent most of my youth dreaming of what this time of my life would be like. I'm satisfied to say that it's everything I expected and wanted it to be and yet none of it all at once. The hardest part for me is learning to have spare time again. I just haven't figured out exactly how to utilize it yet. I can't remember how to have hobbies and it's like I'm re-discovering them. I've had either homework or a test to study for for so long that I can't remember what I ever did before that. Even so, it's been more refreshing than I could've dreamed to have this time. To have an overabundance of time.

My job has been going very well! I feel like I'm learning fast and I'm more committed to the training process than I ever have been before because this is the real thing. This is a career I have invested myself in, so I don't just want to be 'good enough,' I want to be excellent. I'll let you know how that goes. ;)

Ionia is very beautiful this time of year. There are so many crop fields right now and they just take my breath away when I drive past them every evening. Lots and lots of wildflowers too. There's this old chapel on the way to the highway that I love so much. I drive past it and think about all the years it must've seen sitting on that lonely corner of road. Someday I'll have to take a picture.

Changing my name legally has been a lot of work, along with figuring out our bank accounts, health insurance, and how in the world Amanda McDonald is going to cash Amanda Jobin's first paycheck next week. Slowly I'm learning though and I can't really complain. It's a little exciting when I sit back and think about it. :)

This weekend is the Ionia Free Fair and I'm so excited!! It's a huge deal around here (maybe the only officially cool thing that happens in this town?) and I'm hoping to have my brother and his girlfriend out to go with us. :D

Rx Banter

Walgreens Pharmacist: I need to give you five prescriptions.

Me: Geez, five?

Walgreens Pharmacist: Unfortunately. We have someone who is very unhappy and leaving us.

Me: What did you do?

Walgreens Pharmacist: I have no idea. Tried to figure out why he was taking two different benzodiazepines at bedtime at the same time maybe?

Me: He sounds like a real winner. I'm so excited to meet him.

Walgreens Pharmacist: May the Force be with you.

Married Life

Me: I think I'm going to take a quick shower.
Mike: To shave your legs?

Me: Wtf are you trying to say??

Amanda, Rockstar Pharmacist

Today was another milestone for me. I was granted access to our pharmacy computer system and given my own pharmacist password, which means my initials now appear on prescription bottles as the pharmacist who signed off on the medication. The first prescription I dispensed 100% completely on my own without anyone to check my work was for Cipro (complete with a four-star counseling session ;) ). Afterwards....

Kristan: Look at you! You did it! How does it feel?

Me: It feels like I want to throw up.

____________________________________

The pin in the picture above was given to me on my wedding day by Mike's great Uncle John. Uncle John became a pharmacist over 50 years ago (and still practices to this day!) and at the time he became registered he received this pin, which he has graciously passed along to me. With it he gave me this note:

Amanda:

I hope you won't mind if I use this occasion to pass this small tribute on to another pharmacist.

This pin was given to me over 50 years ago as a new pharmacist.

So I wish for you to have it to keep the tradition going in your pharmacy career. Good luck and keep those pills rollin'.

Best wishes,

Uncle John, RPh

Werky

Oh my, where should I start?? First of all, it's 90 f-ing degrees in my apartment, day and night, and after days of cold showers and being so hot and sweaty that we avoid even touching one another, Mike and I broke down and bought ourselves a window air conditioning unit. About 30 seconds into helping Mike (take it out of the box) I sliced my thumb up so bad it bled through 3 Bandaids in about 10 minutes. Later, while putting it in the window, I slammed two other fingers in the window frame and made one of them bleed too. I'm so slick. Luckily I still have seven good fingers left to sling the pills tomorrow!

Speaking of slinging pills, I started working!! OMG. Not some crummy paid-like-an-intern summer job, but my career. After 25 years of working hard to reach this point in my life, I finally get to.... work some more! Yeah!! Woohoo!

All joking aside though, two very important things have happened to me since I started my new job. First, I've realized that school is indeed over. And while this is frightening to imagine (no more training wheels!) I am also so exhilarated to realize that I'm not putting myself further into debt, but instead working to propel us out of it. I've accomplished the dream I've worked so hard to reach, and now I get to live it every single day. I get to be a real pharmacist--something I have watched my mentors do with wistful eyes as I day dreamed about the day it would be me. These first steps are shaky and unsure, but I'm ready to spread those wings. I'm ready to become all my potential has to offer.

The second thing I realized is that when I drive home every night, I'm driving home to Mike. I still remember when he dropped me off at FSU that very first time over four years ago. It was raining and dark, and I watched while crying quietly as he drove away. That was the first of hundreds of awful goodbyes. Much like my role as a pharmacist, being with him like this was something that I grew accustomed to daydreaming about, thinking I would always be striving towards it but never actually reach it. Now it's here, and it is so heartwarming in it's simplicity and worth to me.

There are so many new things. New apartment, new neighbors, new clothes, new last name, but I'm going to have to play catch-up a little here, and it may take some time. :) My brain and blog are still catching up with all the events that have happened to me since May, but I'll be up to speed soon enough. In the meantime, I need suggestions for a quirky, drug-related codename for my new employer because I want to refrain from using the company's name here. Don't let me down people!

Happy Girl

Mike and I made it to our wedding day on June 19th, 2010, six years after our first date on June 20th, 2004. After those first two weeks together we were saying "I love you," and after a month we were talking about forever. We knew. I don't know how we knew and I probably never will, but we knew.

It hasn't always been perfect. I think there have been times when Mike and I have hurt each other more than we have any other person. But even through the short few years I've known him, I've learned enormous amounts regarding love. I've learned it is the strongest force in all the universe, and that if it runs true and deep and you're willing to sacrifice for it, it can do and endure anything. I've also learned that it is somehow simultaneously fragile and worthy of the fiercest of protection against the doubters, against each other's doubts, and even the demons inside everyone's own heart. I've learned to hold on. If you've found it, make sure you hold on. Loving Mike has been one of the most fulfilling and rewarding choices I have ever made, worth every tremulous step it took to reach June 19th.

Even as sure as I was in my choice, getting married shook me up. I remember standing with my Dad outside the chapel, waiting for the pastor's wife to tell me it was okay to come up to the steps. I was fighting back tears and trying desperately not to panic over a fit of nerves I couldn't describe, even now. Somehow, gripping my father's arm, I made it to the front doors which opened in front of me, and there he was. I saw him and realized that this was what was missing. When I reached Mike at the altar I squeezed his hands tightly the whole time, and his smile melted away everything. Today we announced to the world what we've both known for a very long time--we're partners in life. It was nothing more or less than that simple fact.

The whole day was simply spectacular--every single moment of it. The sky was beautiful and I was surrounded by so many people that loved not only me, but Mike and me, together. It was the most amazing day of my entire life. When we reached the reception I danced my heart out, smiled for every second, and laughed as if I were the happiest girl in the whole world. And I am.

I wanted to say something special for my bridesmaids. I chose five girls to stand beside me--my sister Kristen (Maid of Honor); my childhood friend Beth (Matron of Honor); my friend since my WMU days, Shruti; and two friends from pharmacy school, Beth and Colleen. I love each and every one of these girls as if they were all my sisters, for they have loved me, supported me, encouraged me and protected me like family, some of them throughout my entire life. True friendship is as rare as true love, and I have found it in these five fantastic women. They have always, always had my best interest at heart and I could never ask for a better gift from them. Not only did they take great care of me on my wedding day, but they take great care of me every day. The only way I could ever thank them enough is to strive to be as wonderful a friend to them as they have done for me. :)

After the wedding Mike and I kicked off our marriage in style on a 7-day cruise in the Caribbean, aboard this beautiful ship, Freedom of the Seas! We visited the islands of CocoCay (Bahamas), St. Thomas (U.S. Virgin Island) and St. Maarten (Virgin Island) and had an absolute blast!! I could tell you about everything we saw and did, but I wrote down everything in a journal and it took me twenty-five pages there so I'll spare you. ;) I did, however, take a ridiculous amount of pictures which speak volumes in and of themselves! If you'd like to check them out visit my ever-updated photo gallery. :P

**Honeymoon**

**Wedding**

I'll never have a honeymoon again, but I'm looking forward to many more vacation adventures with Mike. :) Now we are both living in Ionia, after years of living apart, and it still feels wonderful to think about never saying goodbye again. :')

Mr. & Mrs.

Love is a high wire act

I've found my net below

I married the love of my life on June 19th! I could not have asked for a more spectacular day--it was simply magical in every single way. Since then, I've spent eight amazing days as Mike's new wife and I couldn't be happier! :) Much more on this later though--for now we are back from the honeymoon and exhausted!! :P

Licensed

I found out today that I'm a licensed pharmacist, which could only mean that I passed both of my board exams! I can't explain how I felt when I saw my registration number, instead of the usual "pending" next to my status. Getting the exams finished before the wedding was gift enough, but actually finding out that they went smoothly was such a wonderful surprise! It was simply the best wedding gift I could have ever asked for.

I never have to study again!!

Lady In Waiting

Five days before the wedding I managed to finish both of my board exams. I had no delusions about this being easy, so when it turned out to be one of the most stressful things I've done in school I tried to take it in stride. I told myself that being able to go on my honeymoon without a thought of school in my head would be worth anything I would have to go through to make it happen--and I was right. So worth it.

Now I've been scrambling to accomplish last-minute things for the wedding, pack up what remains of my things at Mom and Dad's, and pack for the honeymoon. In three days I'll be married to the man I've wanted to be with since our very first date, and there will be no more goodbyes for us. Much like graduation, I feel like I've been striving for this my whole life. I'm ready to put love, family and friends first for a change, and put school, being a pharmacist, and work far from my mind. Now is that time and I'm going to soak up every moment.

Inside of me is like a supernova. :D

My Masterpiece

........says it all :)

Post-Nipplex (for MJ ;) )

Me: You help me so much. You're like... Mike-Zen.
Mike: Making people happy since 1983.
-----------------
Beth: I kept my phone down my bra and between my boobs on vibrate so that I would feel you when you called back!
Me: .......... I feel so close to you now.
Beth: You kind of felt me up!
-----------------

Well, I survived the NAPLEX. Having done this, I can definitely say that preparing for that exam was the single most awful thing I can ever remember doing, followed closely (and in order) by Internal Medicine, Chemo, and BioChem. Notice all these awful things involve pharmacy school? WTF WAS I THINKING????

I've been studying for this beast since mid-March, before excited thoughts of graduation were swirling around in my mind and long before I could even dream about getting excited that the wedding was getting closer. When I told people I wanted to take these stupid tests before the wedding they all looked at me like I was insane--and they were right. But it was honestly the best choice I could have made. Not only do I deserve to relax and have a blast without the thought of board exams looming over my head my entire honeymoon... but so does Mike. He's earned my undivided attention after sharing it for four years with my needy, handicapped child named PHARMACY SCHOOL.

The test was pretty rough and I felt mentally exhausted after it was finished. I'm anxious to know if I passed or not, but I told myself that no matter how I felt I would push it from my mind and move on to the next thing--MPJE. The pharmacy law exam I take on Monday morning, and then I will be free. Only four more nights of studying. And all this school crap aside, I'm getting married in 9 days!!!

So I'm glad that this is over. The last 36 hours have felt like a long, drawn-out panic attack as I clung to the edge of my sanity. But thanks to the kind words of my family, cheer leading encouragement from my most cherished friends, and oodles of love from Mike, I made it to the other side of this. Another hurdle in my rear view mirror, and only ONE MORE TO GO!!

My Hero ;)

Me: Man, I'm so glad I'm not graduating from high school tonight.

Mike: Me too. When I graduated from high school, I hardly knew anything about the zombie apocalypse! These kids are fucked!

_______________________

Me: Can you fix it?

Mike: Pfft, of course sweetie, it's me. You see this badge? It's a "do anything I want and get away with it" badge.

Bachelorettes

This past weekend was my groovy up north Bachelorette weekend, which can only really be described by a series of quotes and pictures! I'll let them do the talking ;)

Me: I think Beth left something on her car...
Beth: It's the penis cake!! Get it before it melts!
--------------------------
Me: Why is the jizz orange?
Beth: He's been on Rifampin.
---------------------------
Me: What are we going to do with all these bananas?
Colleen: Carve penises out of them!
--------------------------
Colleen: It only counts if you swallow, right?
-------------------------
Me: I taught her how to eat meat.
Beth and Colleen: *judgmental laughter*
Me: Chicken. Chicken!!
-------------------------
Tom Tom: After 350 feet, turn left!
Beth: You're not the boss of me Tom Tom!
------------------------
Beth (on marriage): It's like a life sentence only three times as bad, because most life sentences are only 20 years or something.
-----------------------
Beth: My mouth is out of practice. It's not used to blowing this much.
-----------------------
Me: Ugh, you know what we suck at?
Beth: Penis?
-----------------------
Beth: I like your penis!
-----------------------

Ahem, so needless to say, there was a lot of penis going on. I guess we wouldn't be doing the term "bachelorette" any justice without that! ;) Anyway, I had a fantastic time and the weather was beautiful! We were able to do a ton even with the limited amount of time we had and the limited amount of girls who could make it. :)

Now it's crunch time, as I prepare to take the NAPLEX literally one week from today and become Mrs. McDonald two weeks from Saturday! O_O

Doomsday

NAPLEX: June 10th at 8 AM
MPJE: June 14th at 8 AM

Too late to be scared. There's no turning back now.

BUG HATE

It's really warm. Ugh.

Apparently the enormous flying ants are swarming right now, and somehow there are dozens loose in my room. I'm not exaggerating. I'm scared to sleep with my mouth open.

Speaking of nasty bugs, Mom and Dad get these caterpillars which build silk nests in the bushes by the driveway and consequently kill them (the bushes). I mistakenly thought they were harmless, adorable little caterpillars which build cocoons and transform into butterflies, and ended up rescuing two and transporting them to a nearby tree. Afterward I discovered that they are the bush-killing culprits! OMG. I was so ashamed. Mom and I killed them with fire (kidding kidding, it was bleach water) and that did the trick. Fuckers.

I spent a few hectic days with Mike in Ionia, going to his final two lacrosse games of the season and wrapping up some wedding plans. Things are a little crazy! I will be so happy when we're on the cruise and don't have to think about anything else but each other for a change. This weekend he's going with his boys to Boston and I'm taking my favorite ladies up north for Bachelorette weekend! I'm very excited, but even more so for the wedding to finally get here so we can all party down together. :)

Today I received permission from the Michigan Board of Pharmacy to schedule my NAPLEX and MPJE board exams. I was worried this would come too late and postpone my test-taking until after the wedding, but it seems like my prayers have been answered. Now it's more of a "be careful what you wish for" kind of feeling, because I'm so scared and don't feel ready at all. But I'm going to schedule it approximately two weeks out from the wedding and go for it. I'm ready to close this chapter and be free.

Shruti-pie

Shruti: pfft, I know. I've SEEN IT. You know -- in my sexy dirty dreams about you.

Me: Only you could say that to me. ;)

Shruti: *jizz*

_ _ _ _

Me: OMG YOU HAVE SHINGLES?

Shruti: Yeah.

Me: THAT IS SO COOL! (sorry)

Shruti: I KNOW RIGHT? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT! I kept looking at it and touching it.

______________________

What would I do without this girl? I hardly know.

Going to the Chapel

.... quite literally in ONE MONTH! :D

The 2 AM Conspiracy

A conversation with Mike prompted the following random, completely pointless thought....

... Sometimes in the middle of the night, usually around a time when I'm a little more stressed or worried (aka an exam, the first day of a new rotation, etc etc) I wake up unexpectedly. I never, EVER wake up in the middle of the night without looking at the clock, so quite naturally this is the first thing I do. Only on these specific occasions, the clock might say, oh, 2:30 AM for example, and I have just no idea what that means. Is 2:30 AM good or bad? I don't know. I stare and stare, usually squinting because I'm a fraction away from being completely blind, and try to make sense out of it. Eventually I start to become paranoid, like time is some kind of conspiracy created by the government to give me seizures. Or I imagine that I've missed something hugely important and now I must panic. Eventually I realize that 2:30 AM is not a bad thing--in fact, usually it's a good thing because 2:30 AM means I still don't have to get up for several hours--and I obsessive compulsively check my alarm half a dozen times to make sure it's set properly before going back to sleep (usually feeling ashamed and embarrassed). I thought that maybe I was the only one who experienced this (layers of my sanity have been slowly peeling away for years now), but I was delighted to discover today that this happens to Mike too! And.... and maybe other people!

.................

Anyway, not being in school has been super-fantastic. I don't have to drive at least an hour to go somewhere and work for less than free and then come home and attempt to squeeze eight hours worth of studying/working out/being social/wedding planning into a three hour block of time. I can visit people whenever I want instead of just on Saturday and Sunday. If I want to see my fiance, I can just go and see him. OMG.

The downside of being out of school is that now the majority of my days are filled almost exclusively with studying for the board exams. THIS IS AWFUL FOR ME. The NAPLEX covers everything that I learned in school, aside from law which is covered separately. How does one go about studying everything??? I read my entire NAPLEX review guide (900 pages) but somehow feel dumber than I did when I started. So much work left to do and so little time that I just feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I just have to not think about it so that my blood pressure can return to normal.

I also realized that I'm getting married in four weeks. Seriously, OMG. Trying to squeeze in wedding details around studying and visiting loved ones has been a little hairy. I can't believe Mike and I have reached this point. I'm so excited. Much like graduation, I doubt it will feel real until comes up and bites me in the armpit.

I got to visit my sister Kristen this weekend, which I very much wanted to do before the wedding. I was able to meet some of her crew members (which was quirky and fun ;) ), eat cake and ice cream, play hours and hours of Zelda, and see her new car!! Ok, she has cup holders with color changing lights!!. I don't even have cup holders. That's pretty badass. I had a blast and of course was sad to leave. I was also able to visit my Grandma while downstate. I love visiting Grandma--talking to her is good for my soul. :) And she gave me Christmas cookies. *squeal*

This week I'm going to study my lady balls off and then visit Mike from Wednesday on. Bizzy bizzy bizzy.

From #195

My 195 moment came on a beautiful Monday in June of 2006. Four years later I walked the stage, after being introduced as "Dr. Amanda Jobin," and completed at last my higher education. After seven long years of hard work, stress and tears, I reached what I had been striving for my entire life. I day-dreamed about what the moment would feel like, the moment when I would transition from student to professional. It was amazing--just as I imagined it to be. Now I'm a pharmacist.

This is my masterpiece.

Thank you friends and family for believing in me, for being proud, and for listening to my pharmacy journey stories. Thank you Mike for lifting me up, picking up the phone every night, for talking me out of giving up, and for loving me so much. The hug you gave me at the end was
worth every minute.

Dr. Me

"At last the ladder,
which had been built slowly, slowly, one hope at a time,
reached up to the clouds....
and the dreamer began to climb."

DONE

WITH

PHARMACY

SCHOOL

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April Showers! :D

I've decided that getting married is something I should do more often, because not only do you get to wear a pretty ring and get yourself a husband, but you also get oodles of cool presents!! I could get used to this! :D

Sunday was the second of my Bridal Showers. I've been very lucky in that both my family and Mike's family wanted to throw me separate showers! This one was at a golf course in Lansing and we had a great turn out! All but one of my bridesmaids (who lives in Pennsylvania) made it too, so I got to see my favorite girlies! Beth brought her adorable offspring, Nolan, and he was a BIG HIT. Everybody loved him and I ended up having more pictures of him than anything else! ;) I had a really, really fun time. Debbie and her sisters did an amazing job putting it together for me--I'm such a lucky girl!

Mike and I got some really awesome stuff! I can't wait to unpack it all this weekend. Right now it's a giant mountain in Mike's living room. ;) We finally have a vacuum to suck up my wads of hair off the hallway floor, and a new microwave to replace the one I've moved from dorm to apartment to dorm 14 times!! Kristen also got me my favorite ice cream dishes and Mom passed the family wine glasses down to me. :) It was lots of fun and I got to wear a veil! *SQUEAL*

Okay. That was really fluffy.

This is my last week of pharmacy school and I graduate next Friday.

*SUPERNOVA!!*

Ulcer Fun

So I gave myself an ulcer on my eye last week. I do not recommend this approach to avoid studying. There are several much more enjoyable, much less expensive ways to put off the inevitable, although it did get me one sweet day off of my rotation and the first mid-day nap I've had since finals week my first year of school. Apparently I had some kind of sensitivity reaction to my contact lens solution which was then made worse by my ripping off precious epithelial cells each time I removed my contacts. Uuuugh. Don't get an ulcer on your eye. NOT FUN.

Anyway, over $100 and one 5 mL bottle of Tobradex later and I'm back to wheeling and dealing drugs up in Saginaw (for only EIGHT MORE DAYS!!!).

This past weekend was super special because it was my beloved's 27th BIRTHDAY!!! Oh man he's getting old. He tells his students he's 40 (for respect? I don't know) but coming up soon he won't need to. Geez. I should trade him in for a newer model. ;) Anyway, we had a little get-together at his parents' house for gift opening which was lots of fun as always. They even got him an apple pie (because he hates cake) with candles on it to blow out! Awwww. They also made him clean the gutters though, so that kind of balanced things out.

I tried my hand at jewelry making this weekend because that's something I'm interested in giving a shot post-grad. I ended up making lots of things and it was crazy fun! *EXAMPLE* Unfortunately, the whole time I was doing it all I could think was "I should be studying right now." Studying and thinking about studying is the root of all evil. ALL EVIL.

This weekend I get to chaperone Prom with Mike (:D) and then Sunday is my second BRIDAL SHOWER!! And I'll get to see my girls!! :D I'm so excited.

Fun With Capsules

This little guy is what I use to brew up some capsules for your eating pleasure.

Cookin' Up Some Drugs

Last rotation is Healthway Pharmacy, a specialty compounding pharmacy in Saginaw. So far it's been great!! We get to work in labs and make patient-specific products not available from commercial manufacturers. So far I've made:

• Lollipops
• Capsules (fav!)
• Ointments
• Creams
• Solutions
• Suspensions
• Lozenges

... with plenty more to come I'm sure. It takes me about three times as long to make something as it does the other more experienced lab techs, but they are so patient with me! :) We also make veterinary and sterile products which have been interesting to see. On Thursdays I call every single patient to make sure their product is working well and they don't have any questions/concerns! That's what I call customer service. ;)

I was able to attend my first Baptism today (aside from my own which I naturally don't remember)! Our friends Ben and Allison were having their lovely daughter Myra baptized. It was pretty interesting, but more of a church service and less of a baptism than I was expecting. Lots of singing which I performed horribly out of tune and "Peace be with yous" while all I could think about is whether or not these people wash their hands after using the bathroom. >_<

We went shopping this weekend to get Mike some pants, but didn't end up finding the kind he really liked. I, of course, had no such trouble. I ended up getting two blouses, two pairs of pants, and three cocktail dresses. OMG I have a problem.

This Is It

Tomorrow is April 5th, which means the next 25 days will be the very last I'll spend in Pharmacy School. The very last I will ever be a student. For those of you reading this that have been a student with me, I'm sure you can understand it when I say this: there were times when I thought I'd never reach this point. School has felt like a treadmill--I'm constantly running but not going anywhere. Tomorrow is my last first day and before I know it I'll be walking that stage.

I find myself remembering.

I remember my rejection letter and when I was assigned that fateful number: 195. I remember watching the Waiting List climb higher and higher, and then seeing it reach me. I stood there looking at it, as my life literally changed before my eyes, and the world stopped spinning for the briefest moment. Since then, I have changed tremendously.

My confidence has grown (though I still struggle with it often, but not as much) and my priorities have changed. I've learned the difference between a friend and a true friend. I've discovered how hard it is to make the right decisions, to make them in the right order, and to wait, wait, wait for the rest of my life to start. But life happened to me in Pharmacy School too, and even though I cursed it, cried over it, hated it so much--I can't help but love it a little too. Aside from a wealth of knowledge, it gave me wonderful friends; many I will carry with me forever. It strained my every relationship but made me appreciate each one all the more. It could've torn me away from Mike (and almost did, more than once) but never managed--in fact, it taught us how to love each other better and more completely. It taught me the value of patience and it gave me self-worth the likes of which I didn't know before.

Just like four years ago, I find myself nervous and a little afraid to move forward from here. Something new is happening to me, and though I believe myself to be brave, new things are always a little scary. I remember a quote that helped me back then, and not so oddly enough, it fits even now.

Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become.

Spring Break

Although P4 students have no official Spring Break, I sort of got a surprise unofficial one! I was supposed to complete my March rotation yesterday, the last calendar day of March, but my preceptor was on vacation this week so she released me early!! :D I already had Thursday and Friday off for Easter, so I ended up having the entire week off.

My March rotation ended well--I didn't particularly like the Apothecary Shoppe and I didn't exactly give them as nice a grade as they gave me, but that's the way it goes. I pay a lot of money for each of my rotations, and I spent most of this one working on things that the pharmacists didn't want to work on. That aside, it's over now and I'm still rocking out a 4.0 for my final year of school. :D

The NAPLEX is fast approaching and I'm scared to death. I've been studying but it doesn't feel like I know very much and it's putting a huge damper on my graduation excitement. I suppose I'm going to have to separate those two events--I worked so hard that I deserve to really enjoy my graduation. If I'm still far away from being prepared for the NAPLEX then I'll have lots of time post-grad to prepare. And just leave it at that.

With my week off I visited my sister downstate for a few days, which was great fun as always!! We went to see How to Train Your Dragon which was awesome! As some of you may already know, I'm a little obsessed with dragons so seeing this movie was a must for me. I've found that even really, really crappy movies are enjoyable to me if they have a dragon in them. However, such was not the case, for I loved this movie and can't wait for it to be released on video! :D Kristen and I also stayed up embarrassingly late playing Zelda: the Ocarina of Time on the N64 (one of my all time fav Zelda games). I'm really terrible at this game, especially without my brother Chris who has been my walking, talking game guide for every video game EVER since his birth. Even so, I made it all the way to the end!! And luckily Kristen enjoys watching me so that worked out well. ;) I was sad to leave on Tuesday. :(

Now I'm spending the remainder of the week with Mike in Ionia, even though he has school until the end of today. Speaking of Mike, he's like the Super Teacher, which I don't think I've mentioned yet. On top of all the other things Mike does to teach (which is a LOT btw), he's also leading a Google Docs training class for other teachers AND he's been coaching the all new Ionia Lacrosse team!! So he's pretty amazing, but I knew that already. ;)

Monday I start my last month of pharmacy school. OMG. But that's a blog entry in and of itself.

It's also gorgeous out. It's so sunny, warm, and open-the-windows-at-night worthy. Somehow I find myself suddenly on the other side of another winter; a winter that for some reason seemed to be the longest of my life. Yet now it seems to be gone in the blink of an eye, and I realize that nothing is far away anymore. Nothing that I've been counting down to is so far away that I can only stare at it wistfully and wish for time to pass by faster. I don't have to do that anymore. It's so close I can taste it.

Shruti: alright - I WAS going to seduce you by taking off one item of clothing for every minute you were gone, but i realized... I don't have enough clothes on. O.o
Me: HOTTT.

Messin' With Rite Aid Drive Thru

Technician: May I help you?
Me: Yeah um.... could I get a bone for my dog please?
Technician: ....... Do you have a prescription?
Me: No..... but I have a dog. See?

March Showers?

Peeeektures! -- Bridal Shower

OMG you guys--I had my bridal shower yesterday!! :D *SQUEE* My Grandma, Aunts Michelle and Brenda, and cousin Jennifer decided several months ago that they wanted to throw me a party for the shower! I'm not really sure what I did to deserve such generosity, but I know better than to argue! ;)

Needless to say, my family did a fabulous job! They had an adorable hall decorated and it even had a sign outside with a picture of me with Mike on it! I'm pretty sure I've never been cool enough to have my picture on a sign before. They served us some delicious lunch and even more delicious cake (of which my Dad has eaten at least half of the left-overs single-handedly in less than 24 hours), followed by gifting! I'm not sure when receiving items for the kitchen/bedroom/bathroom became so insanely exciting but at some point I made the transition--because boy was it exciting!! :D We received several generous and much-needed gifts which I can't wait to start using together!

I had a really, really fun time, and I hope that everyone who was able to make it did too. :) Honestly though, I get a little overwhelmed sometimes when people pay that much attention to me. >_< It's a little nerve-wracking! I've always kind of been like that though, believe it or not. And it was hard to make sure I talked with everyone one-on-one! I tried to make sure each guest got some individual time with me, but I felt pulled in a dozen different directions and it wasn't easy! Guess I better practice before June. ;)

Timeless

Another busy weekend come and gone. I've never been so aware of the passage of time as I have been this past year. I suppose it's a mixture of being terrified/excited/ready to graduate and trembling with anticipation to marry Mike. Some days it's more one of those than the other, and other days I can't really tell at all. All I know is that time is crawling by while simultaneously shooting past in the blink of an eye. One day I groan with how long the days are, and the next I look at the calendar and realize how little time I have left to do so, so much.

Wear Red Day

I forgot to post this awesome picture of all my coworkers at HealthPlus for Wear Red Day. We each paid five dollars and wore a red shirt to support women's heart health!! I had a great time at HealthPlus--I really miss the people there.

I also forgot to mention that I went shoe-shopping on my lunch break during my last week there! I've always wanted to go shoe shopping on my lunch break!! I was looking for wedding shoes, which I ended up finding so quickly that I had plenty of my break left to buy even more shoes! Oh the joy!!

SaLLLLLLmon

Salmon and green bean casserole

Mike and I really enjoy cooking together and last weekend we had no plans so we got to cook every night! We made our favorite salmon recipe and also a green bean casserole for the first time. Delicious! After preparing this together in the kitchen while sipping red wine and feeling sophisticated, we spent the rest of the evening watching the Secret Life of the American Teenager. :D

I started a new rotation on Monday and so far it's going fine. I'm getting tired of my rotations a little--I think it's about time to graduate. Speaking of which, have I mentioned (enough) that I only have TWO MONTHS LEFT OF SCHOOL?? Can you believe that??? I know I'm not the only one who thought this nightmare would just never end.

The end of school brings the NAPLEX and the MPJE (board and law exams), which will not only burn off what remains of my brains cells and sanity, but also significantly reduce the size of my wallet. Let's break it down!

• Seven years of school: $135,000 (Uuuuummmm, not including interest >_<)
• 1 NAPLEX: $465
• 1 MPJE: $185
  
• Pharmacist's license to practice: $60/2 years
  
• Fingerprinting fee to get license to practice: $62
• Controlled-substances license: $85/2 years
  
• Malpractice insurance: $140/year
• Finally being a pharmacist: OBVIOUSLY NOT PRICELESS

I'm only kidding. It was worth every penny, truly.

I've been watching Ghost Hunters every Wednesday night with Beth, which means I get several hours with her adorable offspring, Nolan. OMG. I love that kid. And you guys know me--I am not a fan of babies.

I've got a busy few weeks ahead but I'll try to update often. I know you're all dying to know what's going on in my exciting life.

Thyroid-less

They found cancer in my sister's left thyroid gland, which was removed last week. Unfortunately, this meant she had to return to the hospital for surgery #2, which took place yesterday. It went very well and now her thyroid is completely removed, hopefully taking the threat of cancer with it. I visited her after work and she was doing very well, even better than last time! :) It was very stressful for her, but hopefully now she'll get better every day!

I finished my rotation at HealthPlus today and it was bittersweet. I really, really enjoyed it. I can't believe how much I've enjoyed all my rotations! Anyway, everyone at HealthPlus was so friendly and helpful--it was hard to leave all that behind. I got a 98%! :D And my preceptors took me out for lunch. :) On to the next rotation--a compounding pharmacy up in Midland! Should be fun. My second-to-last month of pharm school! :D

Mike and I have a weekend off from social events for the first time in over a month. We're going to cook, watch Secret Life, and do nothing. I'm so excited! :D

Bizzy Bizzy

My sister's surgery went well! She's had a goiter-like mass on her left thyroid for a little over a year now, and her physician recently decided that it should be removed. I took Friday off to spend the day at the hospital with her, and luckily everything went well and there were no complications. She had to stay overnight but then was able to come home Saturday morning. She now has a 3-4 inch incision near her collar bone and no goiter! :D Unfortunately, due to the limited range of motion in her neck right now, she'll be unable to drive for up to two weeks. So, yesterday Mike and I drove she and her car down to Monroe (where she lives) so that she can recover while resting in her own bed. Hopefully from this point out she will get much healthier!

In other news, I've completed three of my four weeks at HealthPlus and next week I start my March rotation at a compounding pharmacy in Midland. Should be fun, because I love compounding! I can't even believe that in two months I'll be done with pharmacy school. It's so unreal. This week I'll be signing up for the NAPLEX, which is the pharmacy board exam graduates must take to get licensed. I also have to take the law exam and then pay (more) to actually get licensed. Ugggggh. This should pretty much wipe out my checking account, so hopefully I pass on my first try because I can't afford to do it again!

I've attended two of the five weddings taking place this year, which has made me all the more excited for mine and Mike's. I've got a bridal shower coming up in March! Can't wait!! :D

At Least It's Pretty

Last weekend one of my closest friends from pharmacy school, Sara, got married to her sweetie Nick! Naturally she looked fabulous and the reception was a ton of fun, but my favorite part was seeing so many of my P school friends again. Fourth year has been so isolated from my classmates and I've missed them more than I expected. I had a blast at dinner and got down with my bad self on the dance floor. Mike's cousin Mary gets married this weekend, so love is still in the air for a little while! Speaking of which, Mike was fitted for his tux this week and I can't wait to see how smokin' hot he and the boyz look when our day rolls around. ;)

Almost halfway through my rotation at Health Plus. Everyone loves working there. I have to say that I enjoy it a lot too, although it's not the best environment to fine-tune my counseling skills. I think to myself (almost on a daily basis) that if a patient could work one day in a pharmacy they could understand why it takes "so damn long" to get their drugs ready and just how insulting it is to suggest that I went to school for seven years to "slap a label" on a bottle. I think the same might be true for insurance companies like Health Plus. I curse them all the time, as they are what we pharmacists consider the "rate-limiting step" in prescription dispensing. However, I think to experience their side of the fence will be important for someone like myself, who will be dealing with them so often throughout my career. Just like I'd like the patient to understand my role better, I'd like to understand the role of the insurance company better.

My sister is having surgery coming up next week, so I'd ask that you keep your fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and very well. I'm taking the day off to spend at the hospital, so that will make me feel better. :) I got to see her briefly when she came home to meet with her surgeon and we got to wildly outrace the computer at Mariokart, as per the usual.

According to Mom, Flint got about nine inches of snow last night or something. Just about everything closed up, and I even got a delayed start until 10 AM. My car was very effectively buried in the driveway and it took me a good twenty minutes and two pairs of socks to free it from it's snowy prison. But, like the monster green machine it is, it tackled my always unpaved road like a champ and got me to work safely once again. I hate winter, btw, and eagerly anticipate March going out like a lamb ASAP.

FINALLY

From WebMD Health News

Study Linking Autism to Vaccine Retracted
Daniel J. DeNoon

February 2, 2010 — The venerable British medical journal The Lancet has retracted a 1998 study suggesting a link between autism and childhood vaccination with the measles-mumps-rubella MMR vaccine.

The Lancet tells WebMD that it has retracted "10 or 15" studies in its 186-year history. The retraction follows the finding of the U.K. General Medical Council (GMC) that says study leader Andrew Wakefield, MD, and two colleagues acted "dishonestly" and "irresponsibly" in conducing their research.

The Lancet specifically refers to claims made in the paper that the 12 children in the study were consecutive patients that appeared for treatment, when the GMC found that several had been selected especially for the study. The paper also claimed that the study was approved by the appropriate ethics committee, when the GMC found it had not been.

"We fully retract this paper from the published record," The Lancet editors say in a news release.

The retraction means the study will no longer be considered an official part of the scientific literature.

BMJ, formerly known as the British Medical Journal, has competed with The Lancet since 1840. BMJ editor Fiona Godlee says she welcomes the Lancet retraction.

"This will help to restore faith in this globally important vaccine and in the integrity of the scientific literature," Godlee says in a news release.

In 2004, 10 of Wakefield's 13 co-authors disavowed the findings of the 1998 study. Although the study never claimed to have definitively proven a link between the MMR vaccine and autism, sensational media reports ignited a public panic. MMR vaccinations fell dramatically.

More rigorous studies have found no link between autism and the MMR vaccine. Last year, the U.S. "vaccine court" rejected U.S. lawsuits claiming that there was a plausible link between the vaccine and autism.

Wakefield continues to proclaim his innocence and defends his earlier work. He now resides in Texas, where he is executive director of an alternative medicine center for autism treatment and research.
__________________________

All I have to say about this is that it's about DAMN TIME. I can't even tell you how many people I've wanted to smack for not getting their kid vaccinated because the "news says it causes Autism." GUESS WHAT?? This was the ONLY study suggesting that (EVER), and now it's GONE. So go get the shots people, and protect your kids (and the rest of us) from dangerous, unnecessary disease. And for God's sake, stop believing everything you hear on the news.

Cube!!

Today was my first day of Managed Care at Health Plus, and I have my own cubicle! OMG *SQUEE* I've never had my own before!! I felt very important.

My first day went well! In other news, I can't wait to get out of the house.

600th Post!

Apparently I completely over looked the "500th post" mark, but at any rate, I've been rocking it out in this blog for over four years and for 600 posts. Honestly, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've got some seriously good stuff going on here. Perhaps my life is only interesting to me (in fact, I'm pretty sure it is), but I get a kick out of myself. Lately not so much, but we all have "dry spells" if you will. I have my entire graduate school career documented in this blog, which I can say now I am so grateful for. Reading back on days which have past makes me truly appreciate how far I've come, how much I've changed, and how glad I am that some of those days are over (and by those days, I mean BioChem, Chemo, and Internal Medicine, just to name a few). The me which created the very first post to this blog is so different from the me that sits here now, and I have to say I'm glad for that. Growing up sometimes is hard and sad, but by the time you do it I think we all feel a little bit of relief.

Aside from that, I finished my rotation with Meijer on Friday, which means I've completed all my required clinical work. I have three electives left, the first of which I begin tomorrow at Health Plus. I have to say, I really enjoyed my Meijer rotation. This is the environment that I've chosen to work in for at least the beginning of my career. I took the position with Target thinking that community pharmacy was where I belonged, and the weeks I spent at Meijer did nothing but reinforce that choice. I don't belong in a hospital, locked up in the pharmacy (usually in the basement with no windows) with no one but doctors, nurses, and other pharmacists to talk to. I belong in the community, as one of the most accessible health care professionals to the patient. I want to be asked questions, to help, to develop relationships with patients who will come back to me again and again because they trust me. That's where I belong, and it would be a horrible waste of my effort, skill set, and personality to place me somewhere else. I know now that I made the right choice.

Three more months until I graduate. Only a few weeks until I need to crack down and study for the pharmacy board exam, NAPLEX. As usual, I feel myself sprinting through the final miles.

And in honor of my 600th post, I think back to that very first, which took place exactly two weeks prior to my applying to Pharm school. Little did I know that it would consume my life, change my life, my relationships, and my choices, for the next four years. And my blog would hear it all--the good, the bad, and the ugly. ;)

Back in the Day

I was reading old blog posts tonight and realized something--I used to be funny! OMG! I used to have witty blog entries with interesting things to read about! I laughed out loud at some of them!

What the heck happened to me?

I'm going to get right on fixing this.

*Thinks witty*

R-E-L-A-X ;)

Debt

I'm boring, I know. I know, okay??

I have one week left of my rotation at Meijer, and consequently, 13 weeks left of P school. Not that I'm counting or....... anything. After three years of undergrad and four of grad, I am now $130K + in debt. I'm surprisingly okay with that. Going through school all these years has taught me at least one important thing--educating yourself is one of the best investments you could possibly make. Now that I know I will become a pharmacist (and that I have a job) I'm not really scared about it anymore. I would say it was more than worth it, and in more ways than one.

Mike and I paid off the honeymoon and are ordering our invitations to be printed in the next two weeks, and next weekend we're meeting with the florist for the first time. I keep counting down the days and checking off the months until our wedding finally reaches us, but as it gets closer I'm starting to realize that eventually I will look at the calendar and think, "Crap! There's not enough time left!!" ;)

I've been able to come home after work this month and actually relax (for the first time 4th year). I've been seeing my friend Beth every Wednesday for Ghost Hunters, but mostly we just talk and play with Nolan, which is even better than Ghost Hunters. This week I'm kitty-sitting for her, which makes me happy. I love her kitties. :)

Ironically, I do have homework to do tonight. So what am I doing? Updating my blog of course.

Typical.

Clinical Seminar: the Last Hurrah

Pharmacy school came back with a vengeance, even with only a week into the new semester. I began my newest rotation (Advanced Community Pharmacy) at Meijer in Bay City, which so far has been going smoothly. They fill a lot of scripts per day at that store, so I'm a little unused to the chaos, but I'm getting the hang of it. Everyone there is extremely friendly and willing to help me out when I have questions (which happens a lot). I've been able to counsel patients quite a bit, check prescriptions, call doctors, and sort out drug interactions. It's weird to have actual responsibility. When we encounter a drug interaction they ask me to take care of it, and they trust that I'll make the right decision. I swear sometimes that everyone has confidence in me but me.

Aside from beginning my rotation, yesterday was also the day I was scheduled to present my Clinical Seminar. Seminar is kind of an enormous deal, making up the "thesis" or research component of the Pharmacy Doctorate. We chose our topics at the beginning of our third year of school and have been working on the research ever since. We're assigned a preceptor (random faculty member interested in our topic) and we communicate with them through email throughout the process of writing the research paper, creating a handout/powerpoint, and giving the presentation. My paper was turned in in early October and ended up passing (to my delight). My 11-page handout was due the week after Christmas, and yesterday was the day I ended up presenting (along with around half of my fellow classmates). I was extremely stressed out about it--in fact, I can't remember being the overwhelmed since Internal Medicine back in Aug/Sept. Luckily I presented in the morning, so I didn't have to sit through everyone's presentations while having an ulcer thinking about mine. To make matters worse, I presented in Kalamazoo on Friday morning, the morning after that lovely snowstorm. I drove from Bay City to Ionia on Thursday night. I think I went about 50 mph at the fastest all the way. Then Friday morning I was out the door by 5:45 AM to make it to Kalamazoo by 8 AM. A drive that normally takes me a little over an hour took me twice that long. Luckily, trying to keep myself from getting killed on the road helped keep my mind off the presentation.

So I presented and several professors/fellow students told me I did really well and they enjoyed it. I eagerly awaited my presentation results until the afternoon session, when I was finally able to track down my preceptor and go over the comments my evaluators had made (I was evaluated by three FSU faculty, in addition to my classmates). I passed!! :D The seminar itself was worth 2 credit hours (even though there is never any time spent in a classroom), so it was a huge relief to not have to worry about failing it and trying to make up the work somehow. I can't really portray in an internet blog how happy it made me to see the end of that project (that 1.5 year beast of a project). I wanted to cry I was so relieved. The other half of my class is presenting in March, and for the first time the March people were jealous of we January people. ;)

Clinical Seminar was the last big hurdle for me. It was the last enormous thing I had to accomplish for this program, so now for the remaining 3.5 months of my higher education, I think I'm going to do a bit of relaxing here and there. I'm going to start to unwind myself and transform back into a normal person. I'm ready for this journey to end and for the next to start, and I'm ready to come home each night and not have any homework to do. I long for spare time, for hobbies, and for Lazy Pirate Days. :D