Holy crap. If I don't get an A in this class after all the work I've put into it then I think Wayne Brady is gonna have to choke a bitch.

Beach Bummin'

Today Mike, Kate, and I went to the beach to beat the heat in style! After yesterday's 95 degrees with no mercy, I decided I'd had enough of summer already. Mike and I both had the day off together (for the first time since Summer I began) and Dave was gone to have his Army physical so Kate came beach bummin' with us all day. Mike got to wander around taking pictures while we girls soaked up some rays and went swimming. I wore a ton of sunscreen and still got fried. My anatomy professor would cry and inform me of all the skin cancer I contracted today. Such is the way of summer.

Mike and I got to see X Men 3 on Saturday and it was a great movie. I highly recommend it--and if you go, stay until the credits are over.

I'm sad my three day weekend is over but this week is week four of Human Phys., which means I'll be half done by Thursday. Considering I feel like I've only started, I think the rest of it will fly by and I'll finally get a break from the constant studying and homework. The lab homework really wears me down--two labs a week and each report is 6+ pages long. My longest was lab #2--18 pages!! If I don't get an A on that one someone is going to lose their head.

I haven't seen my family since Easter and that sucks complete balls too. I miss them a lot but between my parents' schedule, Mike's, and mine, we're never free at the same time. My mom is back to working weekends so going home would be pointless, my brother recently started working his first job, and my dad's schedule is so unpredictable that it's a wonder anyone gets to see him. Coming home in the week is out of the question--I have the pharmacy and class every single day.

The waiting list is irritating the bull out of me. It moves a few in a day, getting me all excited, then it doesn't move for a week. I'm stuck in between two basic feelings: not wanting to go at all, and wanting to go so bad I can taste it. On one side I realize that yes, pharmacy school will be a big challenge and adjustment, but in four years I'll be out of school and there will be nothing else to do except begin the rest of my life. Most people laugh at me when I say four years--after all, most people I know will be getting out of school within the next year or two. But for me, four years is the light at the end of the tunnel. The end of a very long day. The finish line, past which I'll never have to study another f-ing thing again. It means being able to marry the man I've wanted to marry since our first date. It means never having to worry about how I'm going to pay for my groceries. It means doing something else besides school. Sometimes I think it's unfair that everyone's real life gets to begin before mine. Occasionally I hate it that I have to wait when I've already waited for so long. But when I truly think about it I know that I'm doing what I need to do, and the journey isn't the same for everyone. My road may be longer but in the end it is the best road for me.

Of course on the flip side it would be so much easier to stay within the boundaries of everything I know. Staying in Kalamazoo with Mike and my friends, with a university I've learned how to manipulate for my cause, with an education that no longer intimidates me. Perhaps that last one is the biggest. It took me nearly three years to figure out I wasn't the dumbest person in my classes. How long will it take me to discover that in pharmacy school?

This all bothers me the most because the summer is slipping away fast. Already one of the four months is gone, and I wonder how much longer I'll have to wait before I know what I'll be doing at the end. Any scenario thrown at me I can handle--I just want to know what it is.

Damnit I wish that list would move. Or something.

Quote-i-poo

Mike: Good luck on your physical Dave! I'll be thinking about you while I'm sitting on the beach eating pasta salad.
Dave: I'd say I'll be thinking about you during my prostate exam but... that's just wrong.

The pool opens Wednesday!!! :D

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

My little blue-sticked friends! :D

*yipe*

All that remains of Organic Chem

Courtesy of Sniper Mike.

A tribute to you

I just have to thank all of you who check the Ferris State waiting list. I of course check at least four times a day (more if I'm actually near a computer consistently), but prior to my posting a link to the page on Blogger, I was the only one who did. You have no idea how much it means to me that you do it too. That you actually care about it. Sometimes I think to myself that no one could truly understand what getting to 195 would mean to me--but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you all know.

So here's to you. <3

I've got mad art skills

Everything you'd ever want to know about the AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM!!
Go my children, study, and be smart. :D
I have made the world better today.

I got to see my sister today :D :D :D I missed her before she was even gone.

This stuff is for the birds

So you're driving down a two lane country road and there are telephone wires flanking each side with birds sitting on them. You don't really think anything of them because they're just, well, birds. But then you get close and suddenly, as if they don't have the ability to fly over the car, they're compelled to jump off their telephone wire perch and fly directly in the path of your car. What the heck is up with that?? STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME!!!

I saw DaVinci with Shruti tonight and it was stupendous!! I'm almost a little glad that I didn't get a chance to finish the book so that I ended up being surprised at the end of the movie. They seemed to stay pretty true to the book as well (from what I read of it) so that's awesome. I recommend.

That is all. *poof*

I miss Mike. Lately I've seen my coworkers and my classmates more than I've seen him.

Double Helix

In honor of the o-so-sexy Deoxyribonucleic acid, I have uploaded a new icon: the double helix. Science at its more basic--and artistic. ;D

I got to hang out with Jillian today (!!!!!) and we were supposed to go see the Da Vinci code with Chris but it ended up being sold out when we got there. So after going to Steak 'n Shake and visiting Mike at Best Buy, we hung out at her place and it was great fun. Tomorrow I'm definitely going to see the movie--perhaps I'll even get a chance to finish the book before I go.

I'm completely burned out after this week. My feet are killing me, I'm so sleepy I can barely stand, and thank goodness tomorrow is Saturday and I don't have to get up. I'm so excited to sleep. On the plus side, I got to see my sister today on her way through Kzoo to Chicago!! I was so happy. :D

I'll write more when I'm coherent enough to form more interesting sentences.

*Zzzzzz*

Jillian: OHHH THE WAITING LIST WENT UP ONE!!!! I check it like 20 times a day. Ok maybe not twenty, but a lot.

**I LOVE YOU PEOPLE**

I got a perfect score on my first Human Phys. exam. BOOYA.

EDIT: New pic, same theme--just because. :)

Take this skool *FINGERS*

OMG I DON'T HAVE ANY HOMEWORK TO DO TOMORROW

WOOOOOOOO!!!

*FLAILS*

That's why we have... the Lockbox.

I just read 50 pages of Human Phys. which discussed nothing but the brain. I've since decided that I hate the brain--it was more fun in Anatomy when all I had to do was memorize its parts, and even then I disliked it with a great intensity. Now that I have to learn how and why it all works makes me want to go into the bathroom and stick bobby pins in my eyeballs. The sad part is that I didn't really read those fifty pages... I just skimmed through what I could tolerate. Man I better take good notes tomorrow.

On the plus side, I bought a pair of new shoes today. My work shoes (which I pretty much wear everywhere anyway) have gotten the absolute crap beaten out of them after walking for the past two semesters to and from work, class, and home again, and of course they faithfully endured the nasty snow and rain. Today though proved to be too much for them--they all but fell apart while at work. So you see, I had no choice but to go to DSW and get a new pair of shoes. No choice I tell you!!

Returning to Human Phys. briefly, I had my first exam today and I believe I did very well on it. Perhaps A-worthy even. Ok I'm done with school now. Geez.

Waiting list hasn't moved. F-ing a.

I had a great weekend. Lots of relaxing and not too much homework. On Friday night Kate, Dave, and Maureen came over for dinner and it was stupendous. Mike and I made a really good Mac 'n Cheese recipe in the crockpot, and then we all hung out until the wee hours. On Saturday we hung out again to go to Cici's Pizza buffet for lunch (I'd never been there before--deeeeeeelicious!), and I then proceeded to put off my homework all day to watch back-to-back episodes of America's Next Top Model. Sunday of course was Mother's Day and I regretably wasn't able to spend it with my mother. I do, however, have an amazing gift idea for both she and my father (for when father's day rolls around). :D

This Friday I have to work all day BOOOOO. But Jillian is in town for the evening and my sister will be swinging through on her way to Chi Town and I'm o-so excited to see them both!! :D There's a good possibility that I will see the Da Vinci Code a ridiculous amount of times this weekend as well.

O man, I need to go to bed. Another long-ass day tomorrow. Poopy-kakka.

Inspired

I feel inspired to post something very mentally stimulating in my blogger, unfortunately I just don't have time right now. I want to draw, to create, to paint, and to use my imagination... I wonder when my life will slow down enough to allow me. Perhaps it's something I need to make a part of my day, the same way I make sleeping a part of my day. My intelligence is vital to my existence, as is my purpose here, but why have I chosen to push back my artistic talents as if they are expendable? What if I pick up a pencil one day to realize that I can no longer pull the images from my mind? Is that any less a loss?

************************************************************

Happy Mother's Day--to the one person who's always been a bright light in my harbor when my ship is sinking at sea. To the woman who feels as if she's failed at everything, yet doesn't see that this passion to follow my dreams she has instilled in me. To my greatest fan, my strongest supporter, and the one who will always answer the phone, no matter what the hour may be. To the mother who has been more than just a parent, but a friend. I'm so proud of you; I hope one day you will be able to see just how much you have succeeded through me.

SEX!

Made you look. ;-)

Ok, so Napoleon just looks like a complete dumbass, and sometimes when I look at him I laugh out loud to myself. It even goes beyond cute --his face resembles many millions of years of evolutionary throw-up. Milenko is the opposite. Somewhere in that pea-sized brain is a surprisingly keen intellect, which he no doubt uses to plot out complex schemes to kill me in my sleep.

Perhaps I'm paranoid.

Human Phys. is different. Having it every single day is not cool. It's like taking a shower only it's not nearly as enjoyable and I have to keep my clothes on. I have to admit though, after Biochem, nothing scares me.

I don't have anymore peanut butter, and it's killing me.

Um... I want to draw pictures. That is all.

Mike Jordan & Jillian

Are my personal super heros. :-D

WAKE UP BRAIN

So I just got back from Shruti's house and her parents are adorable in ways words can't even describe. I just went over to borrow her Human Phys. book and offer up my Harry P's in return, and they kept feeding me all sorts of delightful Indian foods. I love the rice. Omygosh how I love the rice. :D

Today was insane. I worked at eight, had class at one, then came back to work until Sindecuse closed. And that's pretty much what I'll be doing all summer. Woo! Class was ok--my prof confirmed what I already knew: it'll be a ton of work and I won't have a life until June 28th. But that's ok, I can deal.

For those of you that are interested, I've posted a link to the Ferris waiting list in my links section on the right, so you can all become as obsessed as me. But don't worry, I'll love you all the same even if you couldn't care less. ^_^

Yeah, I'm definitely not doing the homework I should be right now.

From here I start again

New photos!!

Well, sadly, my week of stupendous freedom is over and tomorrow we start all over again. Back to the pharmacy, back to campus, back to class. I'll miss always being available to do whatever whenever. But by tomorrow night I'll be back in the old routine and content.

I enjoyed the week off. I got to work a lot more hours than normal, I read most of a book, I saw two movies, and I hung out with friends almost every night. Kate cut my hair and it's wonderful, and Dave graduated from college. He has such a nice family.

The waiting list hasn't moved and I'm worried about money (obviously) but I still find myself very happy--happy to be where I am. I've come so far since last August, and I've made changes in my life that have made me better than I was before. More than ever, I've come to appreciate the people around me so much. My friends, my family, and Mike, who tell me to try again each time I want to give up, who pull me back to my feet whenever I fall. Occasionally I tell myself that no one knows what succeeding means to me, but if I really think about it I know I'm wrong. So many people have helped me get here--they deserve as much credit as I do.

So here I go again.

It's all about the $green$

Forgive me, for I must freak out.

This week I spent $1600. No no, I didn't put too many zeros in there--that's exactly how much I spent. $1260 on my summer class and $340 on rent from my own money. And who knows how much my books will cost.

I'm not concerned about being in debt someday. I used to freak out about it because at least half of my tuition each year is paid for by my loans which have piled up since I was a freshmen. But as my sister told me (and how right she is), college is an investment. When I get out, even starting out, I'll be making close to 9o grand a year, and that's nothing to spit at. What I do freak out about, and what I almost must freak out about, is how I will ever make it that far.

I'm almost 21 and I've never had my own car. Even though this has worked out fine up until this point, how can I ever hope to rely on someone to drive me everywhere when I go away to pharmacy school? I'm afraid the need for wheels has almost become a necessity--perhaps not right this moment, but very, very soon. Even though I have the money for it, I can't help but worry over my inability to have a job while in pharmacy school. My checkbook will shrink so fast I'll probably have a heart attack, and then what will I do?

This is all not even considering how I will cover the cost of tuition, which is probably twice that of WMU. Here I am, smart enough to make it, but lacking the most necessary component of all--money. After all, being successful is never about what you know. Being Valedictorian wasn't enough to even grant me a scholarship. Being on the Dean's List every semester except one since I came here won't get me anything either. With as much time, energy, and spirit as I dedicate each day to giving my all, I sometimes feel as defeated as my heart could possibly allow.

I don't want much. I'll stretch myself to my greatest potential to do well in pharmacy school, and I'll work harder than I have even here at WMU--and that's saying a lot. But I wish there was reward in this. I wish every person in the world who worked as hard as me to accomplish so much could make it. I wish money didn't stand in the way.

All I want is the means. I'll give whatever else is necessary. Sweat, tears, blood. Just allow me the means, and I'll never ask for anything else again.

BOOBIES! No I'm kidding.

I've seen a lot of accidents lately around Kalamazoo. I don't even mean the fender-bender kind, but the really bad ones--ones which require multiple police cars, fire trucks, and ambulances. The latest was tonight on Oakland in Portage. The worst though was on my way home from East Lansing a couple of weeks ago on the highway. It's tragic and a little creepy at the same time. I've always been paranoid when it comes to car accidents.

Grades came back and I was relieved to see I did well. This was a rough semester for me with the amount of credits I was taking and the courses that I'd chosen to take together, but in the end my hard work paid off and my GPA rose even higher. So I guess I deserve a cookie or something.

The waiting list is up to #170--a mere two spot jump in the past two weeks, but that's still twenty spots in one month.... and I've only got 25 more to go. :D

We moved the pharmacy upstairs completely over the past few days (for remodeling) and I'm exhausted. It'll be so nice to have a few days off from it now, not to mention Summer I starts on Monday so the long weekend will help me gear my brain back into thinking mode. Ugh.

Shruti let be borrow her Da Vinci Code--superb book. I'm not done yet but I already can't wait for the movie.

Tomorrow I get to see Kate all day long so she can perform all sorts of wonderful cosmetic delights *pees pants*, and then we're gonna hang out with the boys in the evening. :D Saturday is Dave's graduation party and on Sunday I'm going to RELAX I TELL YOU!!! I must rejoice in my last moments of peace before the chaos begins again.

I miss my family. I hope I get to see them soon--Easter didn't last long enough. I talked to the sis tonight though and that was great. I miss her a lot.

Got to see "Inside Man" tonight and I enjoyed it. Also tried the RootBeer Stand for the first time and was pleased. :)

Ok, I gotta be up at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow for my Day of Beauty (!!). Toodles.

*Poke*

Kristen: It was great talking to you too. I feel a lot better. Love you lots too. Tell the gas factory 'hi' for me.