*Whew*

Another busy weekend just flew by, and here I am back in Kzoo with a mere six more weeks of school to stare blindly out at. Yay!

I spent a fabulous Saturday back in the Mount to celebrate Mom's birthday with she, Dad and Mike. They bought their first digital camera, so that'll be great for them and I know they've wanted one for so many years. We also got to pick up my wedding dress (!!!) because it came in last Friday. I was so excited to see it again!! I kept unzipping the bag to look at it. ^_^ We had dinner at Mongolian BBQ, which was stellar because I love that place. In fact, Mom didn't even know about it until I took her there last summer. Now she and Dad are hooked, and I feel so proud. Like a matchmaker. Heh.

Mom's also going to be redoing the kitchen this summer, so we all wandered around Home Depot for a good while oogling the "kitchens" and double-door refrigerators. OMG. I can't wait to have a house so I can redo the kitchen. We spent a while trying to pick out good decorative tiles for the sink area, and Mom ended up buying a few to try out. Mike wandered around playing with their new camera, of course, taking random videos and really bad pictures of me. >_<

I was really sad to leave that night, but Mom made me egg salad (OMG YAY) and some frosting for my graham crackers to enjoy back at school, and at least I get to come home in about a week and a half for some Easter-grass goodness. :D :D

I also got to see the delightful Shruti for lunch before going to my parents on Saturday, and got to meet her roommate Mike who seems pretty cool. :) We went to a sandwich shop in East Lansing where I ate an enormous triple-decker BLT. Om nom nom! I've only had a chance to see Shruti twice this school year, which has been horribly depressing, but it was a lot of fun and we spent a wonderful meal reminising about the good old days at WMU. <3

Sunday I spent with Debbie at Jen and Jared's baby shower in Sterling Heights, which was just as fancy and enormous as their wedding! There were about 100 or so women there, all giggling about babies and eating cookies and cake. Omg, I thought my head would explode from the sugar rush that frosting gave me. And the presents. O_O There was just a WALL of presents!

So, I have two other baby showers to go to this summer. >_< Too many babies.

Me: Hey, can I use your computer to take a quiz?
Mike: *glare*
Me: I wouldn't ask if you were busy but... all you're doing is looking at high school chicks covered in Hershey's syrup.

Intramuscular Oranges

Pharmacists these days are giving immunizations in pharmacies pretty much everywhere, so to prepare us for this, the faculty had each student give and receive an intramuscular injection this week in lab. It was really controversial and I was nervous because I hate getting injections, and I'd also never had to give an immunization before. My partner was even more nervous than me, and she pushed the needle into my arm really slowly so it stung a little more than ones I'd had in the past. :-/ My other lab partner, whom I gave an injection too, said that I did a good job, but when I put the safety on the needle I ended up squirting saline solution at her. >_< Oops. She loves me though so it's all good.

Also, I was just doing my dishes, and I have two slices of orange molding underneath my dishes. This is completely mysterious to me, because I haven't ever bought or eaten oranges in my apartment this year. I seriously feel a little creeped out. Either I'm eating oranges from a secret stash in my sleep, or.... I'M NOT ALONE!! O.O

The Intercrap.

Well I've wanted to update for a few days now, but of course my internet broke again. I've had chronic problems with the connection at my apartment, and just two weeks ago I went an entire week without access to the Web. I use it a lot for assignments and communication with my classmates, so that was very frustrating, but apparently during that week they replaced almost the entire system, and they told me I shouldn't have any more problems. Now, two weeks later, I have problems and they say that the only two pieces of the system which weren't replaced last time both broke at the same time over the weekend. -_- Oy vey.

School is also bugging the crap out of me, but mostly because of politics and random changes to the curriculum which make me want to pull my hair out. I'm sort of type A, so when I don't know things far in advance, I go a little crazy. This has happened so much this school year that I think I may've reached the point when my emotions sort of shut down. I've stopped trying to fight it and instead I'll probably remain submissive to further ass-rapings between now and May 7th.

This weekend I got to see Nick and Colleen, which was pretty awesome because I hadn't seen Colleen in a really long time, and I had so much P school material to unload on her. We're both taking the same classes right now but in different cities (she's in GR), so now when I bitch about stuff she can share in my misery, and it's simply delightful. She and Nick are also doing a lot of things to plan their wedding, and that's something exciting for us to talk about together too. Nick and Mike usually go off on their "man date" anyway, so Colleen and I are always left to entertain ourselves. ;) We went bowling and out to ice cream, and although the ice cream was delicious, I sucked real bad at bowling (again).

I also got to meet one of Mike's old co-workers Joe, his wife Alyssa, and their 7-month old son, Josh. I really had a great time and they made some mouth-watering salmon, but more of note is that I actually enjoyed being around their baby. This is truly a milestone for me because I've simply never liked babies. They sort of scare me a little bit, with all the attention they need, their absolute dependence on their parents, and of course all the whining, crying, pooping and throwing up on you they do. Omg. But I actually played with Josh a lot and made him laugh, and in general it was sort of a refreshing experience. It even made this tiny little part of me deep inside long for motherhood.

Fortunately, such moments pass quickly. :D

This weekend is the Mom's birthday, so Mike and I are going to try to see her on Saturday for dinner or something else fun like that. I'm so excited! Also, I have another baby shower for one of Mike's cousins to go to on Sunday with Debbie, and I'm looking forward to that as well. Another busy weekend, and I find myself looking forward to just one when I have nothing to do, no one to see, and no plans to fulfill. Lol, yeah right.

Psh, Women.

So I accidentally stumbled upon an episode of the Real World the other day, I think it might've been Brooklyn or something like that. I don't normally watch the Real World because I'm not terribly sure of the point, but I became absorbed into the story of a trans gender man-turned-woman on the show (forget her name, sorry). Anyway, she seemed absolutely obsessed with expressing her new found "femininity," which is all just fine in theory I guess. Only for some reason the only way she could think of actually doing this was to pole-dance, go-go dance, and wear extremely revealing clothing. I'm sure part of this desire comes from the excitement to enjoy/show off her new body, as in the boobies and such--that part I understand. But seriously? The phrase, "So I was talking to a girl I pole-dance with..." came out of her mouth. As if she were saying, "A girl I go to the gym with..." -_- For some stupid reason, I find all this insulting. Here's a person who has undergone a physical identity transformation into the so-called "fairer sex," and her first instinct is to... act like a stripper. Oh my God.

It was sort of like St. Patty's Day, walking down Lafayette (my street) and weaving my way through really drunk, dressed-to-slut chicks who were all stumbling around in the middle of the street, completely intoxicated by 5 pm. And then seeing other dressed-to-slut chicks grinding on douchebag-looking frat boys who probably don't even know how to treat a real woman. And all the really hot ones probably saw me and thought what most girls think when they see another girl--"I'm so much hotter than she is. I feel so lucky to be hotter than she is. I'm going to have a better life than her because I'm so much hotter than she is." Please. You can't even remember your original hair color, you don't know that guy's name, there's a red cup in your hand with someone else's beer in it, and I can smell your chlamydia from here. You give my gender a bad name.

Don't get me wrong, I like to get a little silly sometimes, and I delight when I find a shirt that can actually show off my boobies. But like all things, exposing your wild side is probably best done in moderation. Or it's quite possible I'm just a prude.

To further disrespect and deface my gender, we have the women who seem attracted to assholes like moths to a flame. Although I think this phenomenon is fairly well-known, go visit Hot Chicks with Douche Bags to see the evidence in all its shameful glory. I guess this gives the "Nice Guys Finish Last" theory a little bit more credibility. Unless the Nice Guys bump into gals like me, who are not only suppermassively hot, but smart enough to know a non-douche when they see one. :P

In case you haven't figured it out yet, there is no point to any of this. I have a midterm tomorrow--obviously I have to do something besides study. I'm irresponsible like that.

Better Than Me

**Saw this on a friend's Facebook, didn't feel like making another note and tagging people... Lame, but I haven't made any completely pointless posts lately so I suppose I'm sort of due for one (and it will put off studying another half an hour or so...)

1. Put your music library on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song title as the answer to the question, no matter how silly it sounds!
4. Ok, go!


1) IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OK?" YOU SAY?
Amazed (Lonestar)

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Hot In Here (Nelly)

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
The King of Wishful Thinking (Go West)

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
I Need You (Leanne Rimes)

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Pain (Three Days Grace)

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Hello Zepp (Saw Soundtrack)

7) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Hot N Cold (Katy Perry)


8) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Shut Up and Drive (Rihanna)

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
Hard Way (Faith Hill)

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Lonely No More (Rob Thomas)

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Devil's Daughter (Silvertide)

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Coo Coo Ca Choo (Bloodhound Gang)

13.) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Coming Undone (Korn)

14) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Over My Head (The Fray)

15) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Love On the Outside (BBMak)

16) WHAT SONG WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR WEDDING?
Dare You to Move (Switchfoot)

17) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Animal Song (Savage Garden)

18) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Home (Chris Daughtry)

19) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
On the Roof Again (Eve 6)

20) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Make Me Lose Control (Eric Carmen)

21) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Better Than Me (Hinder)

Unique P School Bitching!

*sigh* You know, 3rd year is starting to feel a little bit like high school. My classmates are whiny little bitches sometimes, or more accurately, the accelerators who joined my class in Kzoo in January are whiny little bitches. I try not to isolate them if I can help it (we are all in the same program going through the same stresses), but sometimes they just hang themselves. But don't take my word for it--read on and enjoy!

The latest upset is our professors finally enforcing the dress code. Now, there's always been a dress code, but in 3rd year we take most of our classes inside an actual hospital building, so it's more important for us to act and appear professional to other professionals. Not only is this expected of us by the faculty, but it also helps us to earn respect even as students. This is NOT something new or unique to Ferris, and it's not even that damn difficult, but some people can't play by the rules. The following quotes were taken from FSU forums for pharmacy students; a message board on which we are expected to be appropriate and which is also read by not only our peers, but also our professors. I made sure to bold my favorite parts! :D

"Today I had a conflict in class because of the dress code because I didn't want to drive 3 hours and then sit through 5 hours of lecture uncomfortably. I gained 30lbs since pharmacy school because it is stressful and dressing up for 7 hours is not the most comfortable thing for me so I apologize."

Amanda's response to this bullshit: OMG where do I even start?? First of all, pharmacy school is stressful. GET OVER IT. I am SO tired of hearing classmates feign surprise over this concept. Secondly, 30 lbs? Maybe you're eating too many twinkes or drinking too many beers my friend, because no one else seems to have this problem. In fact, if anything, I've lost weight since beginning the program because I don't have time to eat. Furthermore, when you're a real big boy pharmacisit, you'll have to dress up for 12+ hours at a time and STAND ALL DAY. So man-up you puss.


" Burberry Polo: $95.00
True Religions Jeans: $329.00
Pravada Shoes: $350.00
Movado on my wrist: $750.00
Having people judge what is appropriate: priceless"

Amanda's response to the bullshit: Oh man, you must be exceedingly clever to create your own MasterCard commercial! The truth is, no matter how much you paid for them, jeans are jeans commrade, and it is clearly stated in the dress code that jeans are not appropriate. Let me simplify that for you: Expensive does NOT equal appropriate. On a personal sidenote, I'm not impressed with your excessive spending on clothing items. It dosen't make you cool--it makes you a dumbass.

"(whining about getting kicked out of class) .... maybe because my name is (removed for privacy). 'It is no secret about the way things are on the west side of the state!' That is quoted from a faculty member at Ferris about racism but I won't say who."

Amanda's response to the bullshit: Oh no he didn't... he did. He pulled the stupid racisim card. Forever used in a last-ditch effort to blame anyone but yourself, because God forbid you actually do something wrong without it having to do with your race. Seriously, I have no sympathy for people like this. Maybe I'm a naieve little white girl, but if I flounced into class wearing blue jeans and not the dress pants which are expected of me, my happy ass would get kicked out as quick as yours. It's not the color of your skin jackass. You just suck.

"People should only worry about themselves. Just because you dress better than the people you serve doesn't mean you're better than them."

Amanda's response to the bullshit: Wtf are you talking about? Are you talking about pateints? Because no one else is. First of all, I do care about the behavior of my fellow classmates, mostly because we represent each other in what we do and how we act. If one of us behaves disrespectfully in front of professors it reflects badly on us all as a whole, and personally, if I were to someday come to a prof with a legitimate concern, I would want them to respect me enough to hear me out.

Eventually a professor came along and deleted everything, told him to follow the dress code and shut up (basically), and informed the general population that any more inappropriate posts would be removed as well. It's simply embarassing, really, because the faculty is forced to treat us like the high school-ers some of us act like.

All the while I sit as a silent observer, releasing my frustrations in a most inappropriate and unprofessional manner in my blogger, but at least here that's okay. ;)

Back to School

Me: So what does it feel like being pregnant?
Beth: Everything is... weirder.
_______

Beth: I actually get these horrible headaches more often.
Me: Probably hormones.
Beth: Yeah, only they make me really bitchy.
Me: .... You don't happen to have one right now, do you?
Beth: No, don't worry. I don't work with you and you're not my husband, so there's no reason for me to bitch at you.
_______

Spring break is just hours away from being over now, and I've got to say that that's a total bummer for me. But at least I only have two more months left of this wretched year, and then I'll be done with book work forever! OMG. The last several days of my vacation were very enjoyable! I was able to see my girlie Beth before leaving home, which is always a riot. She's totally having a baby right now, which is an odd sort of development for me because I've known this girl since before she shaved her legs. But now she has a cute little belly on her and it's really exciting because I know she'll make a fantastic mom. :) I also got to hang out with Katie and Chuck last night with Mike! We're trying to see each other more often, so we made plans weeks ago to go out to dinner and bowling, which was really nice. I sucked real bad at bowling, but I still had a blast. We also went to a place in downtown Kzoo which I'd never been to before, and I always like discovering new delicious eateries around town.

I didn't study as much as I should've over break. *sheepish* But you know what? Whatever!

I found out that my institutional IPPE will start on May 11th in Saginaw, the Monday after finals are finished. This summer internship is the only time during my four years which I'll have to do something school-related, but it still sucks a little. One graduate-level credit hour is worth $480, and this internship is two credits, so that's almost $1,000 of my own money I'll have to blow on this class. To make matters worse, I don't get paid for this internship (obviously) and it's a 40 hour + sort of deal, so I won't be able to work at the same time. So not only am I out a thousand bucks, but I also lose whatever wages I would've earned from working. Ugggh. And fourth year starts August 1st, not September 1st, so I also lose a month of work there as well. In a nutshell, my summer is pretty much cut in half this year. On the plus side of things, I'll be glad to get my internship done and out of the way while I'm still quasi-in the schoolish mode, and before I get too much summer fever going on.

I suppose I should probably be a good student and actually get some crap done before class tomorrow. *dies*

Crazy Asian

For some reason my refrigerator smells sort of bad all the time. I can't understand this! I clean it literally once a week because I'm so perturbed by this smell, yet I have no idea what its source is. I go to great lengths to make sure that I leave no old, molding, or otherwise rotting foods in there to stink it up, so I'm truly at a loss.

Also, my neighbor across the hall is so disgusting. I'm pretty sure I haven't complained about her yet, which is surprising because she would make for some pretty good blogging material. I call her Crazy Asian (not because I'm racist, but because she is indeed Asian and definitely crazy). This girl is never by herself. Let me just explain first of all that I live in a studio apartment and so does she, which means it's slightly uncomfortable for 1.5 people to be in there at the same time, let alone the mass quantities of guys this chick entertains. One Thursday evening (always right before a big exam of mine, always) this girl literally had at least ten people in her place. This wouldn't bother me under normal circumstances--in fact, I don't really give a crap--but she's right across the hall from me and leaves her door open. So I can hear every god forsaken foreign word that is squealed from her little mouth like a bad Anime porn. And they smoke, so the damn smoke detector goes off every ten minutes or so. And they also leave all their shoes outside the apartment, in the hall. That my be a cultural thing, I'm not exactly sure. But still, ew.

Worst of all, this girl thinks it's okay to leave her trash in the hall. Our building has an outside door separate from the individual apartment doors, so we sort of have an indoor "hallway" which all our apartment open into. Occasionally, I'll leave a bag of trash outside my doorway if I know I'll be leaving in the next hour or so to throw it out. Crazy Asian doesn't understand this concept. She has left trash outside her door for days at a time. I wish I were making this crap up, but I'm not. Last Sunday she placed three bags of trash outside her door, and there they sat. On Friday morning, this is what I see when I open my doorway: Clicky click. Count them up and that's five ridiculous bags of trash. Okay, and that bag closest to the camera?? Those are eggshells in there people. Those bags smelled like ass and had been sitting there for nearly a week. It was sixty degrees on Friday, and there was no reason why Crazy Asian couldn't walk her happy ass the 50 yards to the garbage bin outside. So I called the managers and got her butt in trouble, and to my delight when I returned home from a hard day of slaving away at school, those stinky bags were gone. :D

In other news, today was the first official day of my Spring Break, and although my traditional week off during the end of winter is spent differently now than it was in early college years (on sandy beaches with fruity drinks), I have to say that a break from Pharmacy school is splendid no matter how it's spent. I can't even express to you how thrilled I am to not be studying right now, or a half an hour from now, or even twelve hours from now. OMG yes.

Since I've been set free, I've been able to spend a delightful evening mowing down some cheesy cheese fries with one of my best Girlies Beth, who happened to be in Kzoo for Clinical Seminar. It was nice to sit and complain about pharm school to someone who truly understands! I've also shared a nice dinner at my parents' favorite Mexican place, and browsed around Birch Run outlets with Mike, where he got us a set of eight silverware (originally $160, marked down to $36!).

Tonight Mom and I got to go shopping together, and on a delightful impulse I ended up finding and buying my wedding dress. Oh. My. God. Seeing myself in white with a viel around my face and my mother trying not to cry behind me... it was suddenly a little more real than it usually is. I had no intention of buying my dress this early, but much like the man I love, when the right one comes along you don't hesitate. You go for it--because there's only One which makes you feel this incredible. :)

The Upcoming End

When I was trying to get into pharmacy school, the idea of it was just about all I could think of. It was this huge positive force in my life which manifested itself into a tense ball of excitement deep in my chest whenever I stopped for a second to daydream. I used to imagine what it would be like to receive my acceptance letter, and how refreshing it would feel to be amongst classmates who were pursuing the same career path as me. Then, one beautiful Monday in June, I got the good news I had been hoping, dreaming, and praying for for years. I was going to pharmacy school.

And then it hit me. Shit! I'm actually going to have to go through with it now. And all at once I was completely consumed with the reality of the situation: pharmacy school would completely change my life. It would rob me of personal time with family/friends/significant other, take me from my hobbies, and stick me in an alien world where my confidence would be reset at zero and I would emerge trembling with nervousness. I can remember the doubts I had in the weeks leading up to my first days at Ferris, and how at times I even asked myself what in the world I was thinking.

Now, nearly three years later and 75% of the way through school, I'm having thoughts like that again. After longing for graduation and "the rest of my life" for a frustrating six years, it occurred to me suddenly that in just two months I'll be able to say that I only have one year of school remaining. And even though that might seem like a long way away to some, to me, it's practically around the corner. Although the desperation to graduate still remains, something new is starting to build.

I find myself petrified at the idea of being a new pharmacist, alone after my partner leaves at the end of his shift to take care of a room full of government regulated drugs and with several employees whose actions are all my legal responsibility. And every filled script which leaves in my white paper bags is also my handiwork, and if something left wrong... it could have serious consequences. For the first time I find myself seriously evaluating what it will be like to deal with that for the very first time, and occasionally it's overwhelming (especially at 2 AM).

I wonder sometimes if I will be good enough, if I've learned enough, and if I'll remember it all.

Babies!

You know, it's been so long since I've updated my blog that it's almost become awkward to discuss all that has happened since the last time... at least without boring even myself. In summary, school has been sucking the usual joy from my life, but on the bright side I've had more opportunities to be social than usual. I think I've hung out with actual people doing non-school related things at least 4-5 times. This is record-setting for me. :D

I attended the Lovely Kate's baby shower for her bound-to-be-adorable offspring, which is certainly worth mentioning. I haven't seen Kate in an embarrassingly long period of time, but she looked great and I'm happy she finally gets to have a baby. :) I've got to say though, finding the "butt paste" in Babies 'R Us proved to be more challenging than I thought, so either I need to do a lot of research before starting my own family, or hold off for quite a while. ;) I got to visit with several old (but good!) buddies from my WMU days, and despite the fact that our lives have progressed so much since then, it was great fun to see everyone again. :) Hopefully it won't be quite as long until the next time.

I signed up for clinical rotations. OMG. They'll probably expect me to know things for those, right before graduating me and sending me off to be responsible for patient lives. Scary.

I'm so ready for spring.