Awesome.

Well the cat has killed both of my parakeets. And you know something? I don't give a crap how annoying they were. I loved them, they were mine, and now they're gone. And I feel like it's my damned fault.

I'm Happy

For the choices I've made

For the people I've met

For the lessons I've learned

And for the times I've chosen to say, "I love you"

A few stupid things

I'm growing my hair out and I feel the slight urge to throw myself off a building over it right now.

I really want a black Jetta, for those of you that are having a really hard time finding me a Christmas gift.

My dorm hallway smells like a slice of greasy pizza. And damnit, I wish I had one of those right now.

EDIT: O and I hate studying btw. Bee-tee-double-you. :D

Oooooooooooooooook bye.

Turkey Day

I always need vacations the most immediately after I have one.

So I got to go home for the first time since oooooh, last Spring Break I guess, and it was very very nice. Mom, Dad, Chris, and Kristen were all there, and I can't even remember the last time we all slept under one roof. Kristen has grown up and moved out, I'm practically moved out, and Chris is about to turn seventeen in just a few days. I can't believe how much time has gone by.

Thanksgiving was great, and I got to play a ton of Mariokart with the siblings. We all went to Crossroads for opening night, where I got to see my wonderful Tree of Lights (which I demonstrate for you here with my photographical brilliance), I got to ride the train for the first time in years, ride Elmer's Tune (my favorite carousel horse), and see a spectacular fireworks display. I also spent way too much money in the gift shops, but most of what I bought wasn't for me. After Kristen and Chris went home Dad and I got to walk around the Village just the two of us, and that felt really nice. I got to spend quite a bit of one-on-one time with just about everyone.

I also got to hang out with Beth for a while on Wednesday and we went back to the high school to visit some of our old teachers. Holy crap that was weird, but I really enjoyed it. Last night we went to see the Fountain which I do not recommend to anyone--unless you do drugs. If you do, it might make perfect sense to you. And I of course did a ridiculous amount of studying. *sighs pathetically*

So now here I am. Dad and the bro left about an hour ago, and I already feel really terribly lonely. I miss the noise of home and milk in the refridgerator. Hell I miss everything. This is probably the only time ever since leaving home that I've come this far through a school year and not really been excited to go back. It's a shame too because I really love Ferris and even living in the dorms has been really enjoyable. I guess it depresses me that just about the only thing I do here is work my butt off and study. I suppose that must be why.

But anyway! I had a wonderful weekend with the family and I hope all of you did too. :) I've got a lot of pictures to upload but I'm too lazy to do it tonight, so probably early this week I'll post them. For now, I need to unpack all my crap. >_<

Today I get to see my
FAMILY

I love you family :)

Run on sentences

Sooooo tomorrow I have three hours of class and then I'm FREE until next Monday. Holy easter eggs that's amazing. After that I have two weeks of class before finals, and I'll be halfway through my first year of pharm school. I feel like I've improved significantly since I started here, which makes me feel awesome, and I just got back my fourth biochem exam and was estatic to learn that I earned a 90%. I might be able to pull off a B in that class afterall. :D :D

I had a ridiculously busy weekend. Friday Mike's friend from high school Nick picked me up in Grand Rapids and the three of us went to see Casino Royale, the only James Bond movie I've ever seen. Despite this it was still enjoyable, and whoever the guy was who played Bond was butt-naked in a scene near the end and he has a really nice body. So that was good.

Saturday was the lovely Kate's bridal shower, and she got so much stuff OMG. It was a lot of fun and we played some corny games and ate the most giant baked potatoes I've ever laid eyes on. :D MMmmm. Afterwards I was scheduled to have my bridesmaid dress fit at David's Bridal, and what an ordeal that was. The woman who helped me was completely incompetent, and each time I came out of the dressing room with a dress on Mike had to go hunt her down in the store because she couldn't sit still. Then she brought me three of the wrong style dress before I finally pointed out that these gowns looked nothing like what the lovely Kate showed me. After finally finding the right dress in the right size, I went to pay and of course their computers wouldn't work for like a million years. *COMPLAINS* But the dress is very pretty and I can't wait to wear it. :D

Sunday was spent doing homework, cleaning, preparing for my visit to Promed Family Practice, and then in the evening we were invited to have dinner with Mike's friends Dave and Adrienne, who were apparently having a pre-Thanksgiving dinner. I haven't seen them in ages. Then I came back to the apartment and proceeded to feel very nervous for the rest of the night about my visit to the pharmacy today.

As an introduction to being a pharmacy intern, the first year of pharmacy school requires you to visit two different pharmacy sites, one in each semester. I was assigned a partner and a location (based on my geographical preferences) and I had to stay for at least three hours. Much to my irritation, they gave us no spare time to do this. We had to work it around the pharmacy's schedule, our preceptor's availability, and a full-time school schedule here in Big Rapids. I was lucky in that my preceptor was available to speak with us this morning and my pharmacy site was located in Portage near Kalamazoo. I merely stayed an extra night downstate and drove back up here with my partner Jeff (he wasn't a big talker--made for a long-ass drive).

We got back about ten minutes before class started and holy crap the whole thing was just stressful. I had a great time at the pharmacy and I got to ask a lot of burning questions, but I always feel very anxious over things like this. It turned out to be a great experience though.

Now I only have to suffer through another day of class before I can go home and play Mariokart, eat real food, and pet my dog. :D

Take me to the church!

Shruti: well i don't want you to cry
Shruti: enough of that has happened since i rejected your marriage proposal
LilBoomerang08: WHO rejected WHO'S marriage proposal??
LilBoomerang08: I'M A MARRIED WOMAN!!
LilBoomerang08: I'M MARRIED TO PHARMACY SCHOOL!!!
LilBoomerang08: it was an arranged marriage though
LilBoomerang08: and i'm going to kill it while it sleeps.
LilBoomerang08: and inherit all its money :D

Penis whistles

I took a Biochem exam yesterday and I feel ok about it. I won't find out for sure until Monday though so that'll suck--I hate to drag out stress longer than necessary. But! The good news is I don't have any more exams until the Thursday after Thanksgiving! :D And after that it's a downhill spiral of crappy exams and no life until Christmas break!! :D :D WOO!

So the lovely Kate and the handsome Dave are getting married in like a month, and Kate's bridal shower is this Saturday! I'm so totally clueless about the whole wedding process in general. I don't really know what to wear or what gifts to buy or if I'm supposed to be doing anything else. A friend of mine told me bridal showers usually consist of bringing gag gifts, like a penis whistle or something, but I can't see that going over very well with the older people who may be there. I'm also the maid of honor in my friend Beth's wedding--I'm pretty sure I have several responsibilities but I have no idea what they are. I SUCK AT THIS GAME.

Nothing really exciting happens to me in Big Rapids. I get to visit my first pharmacy as an offical intern this upcoming Monday! WOW I bet that got you on the edge of your seats. Actually I'm slightly nervous.

This has been a rough week and I hate that. I hate it because nothing bad whatsoever has happened to me, yet I still feel this unnecessary negative energy going on right now. I've just been really worrisome and lonely and stressed out in general. Over practically nothing. That is so like me.

I can't wait for Christmas--I've never been so happy for it to get here.

There wasn't any snow down state. In fact, there wasn't any snow anywhere until the MOMENT I got off the highway and pulled into Big Rapids, as if some nasty cloud had just been chillin' out there all weekend. Just for me.

:: MAD ::

The lower east side

So, yesterday I was up at 5:30 am so that Mike and I could make it over to U of M Ann Arbor by 8:30 for a presentation he was giving called, "Authority and Power We Bring to Tutoring." He was there with four other students representing WMU's writing center consultants, and the presentation lasted slightly over an hour and it was very good. I was so proud of him. :) I was probably the only person in the audience that wasn't a consultant myself, but the topic of authority and how to use a higher body of knowledge wasn't unfamiliar to me. At school I have a whole class dedicated to how pharmacists engage themselves in practice, and patient communication is a huge part of that process. Learning how to actively engage a patient/student/client in the communication exchange so that they truly benefit from it is a tough job of just about any profession.

Afterwards we realized that we were on the opposite side of the state from where we usually are, so we took advantage of that opportunity. We visited Mike's friends Tim and Dan who attend U of M, then we headed over to Redford where my grandma was celebrating her 90th birthday with my whole family (except Chris)! She was so suprised to see me--I haven't seen her since Easter. It was awesome to see my parents and sister again too, and I get to see them in only a week and a half for Thanksgiving! I can't wait.

The remainder of the evening was spent studying Biochem, as today will be. :( I'm almost done with this semester--I can't believe it.

Holy crap

My grandma turned 90 years old today! :D

Pharmacy Day

So apparently yesterday was College of Pharmacy Day or something, and we didn't have any class. Of course, instead of going to class from 1-4, we had to be at Williams Auditorium on main campus at 8 am, where we remained until 3:30 that afternoon. I must say, although in most respects I believe Ferris is a much nicer school (as far as how well it's taken care of) in comparison to WMU, Miller Auditorium is much better than Williams. But I have a sneaky feeling (triggered by the teal-colored auditorium seats) that FSU's Williams Auditorium was built about thirty or some odd years before Miller. I guess Western wins this round. *ding!*

Anyway, back to Pharmacy Day. We spent the first three hours speaking with representatives from just about every type of pharmacy you coud imagine--retail, independent, hospital, and nuclear pharmacy, as well as pharmacy in the Navy, Air Force, and the Army. Everybody had free stuff to bribe us with and I stuffed my bag full of pens, coffee mugs, back massagers, chip clips, Pez dispensers, and even an adorable stuffed puppy wearing a pharmacy lab coat. Not to mention I think I have about a million business cards, and several hopeful offers for summer internships. Afterwards we gathered in the auditorium to listen to some rather dull (and political) guest speakers. We broke for lunch, got into our respectful groups for group discussions of current pharmacy issues, then concluded back in the auditorium to get our free t-shirt. Pharmacy students from their first year all the way through the fourth years were present, and it was an interesting (though very long) day of interacting. I feel significantly more involved in stuff for some peculiar reason.

I got my hair cut after they let us loose, and had about two and a half inches cut off. It's just slightly shorter than the haircut I had over the summer which Kate did for me, but it's still a big change from my shoulder-length hair. I feel like I've taken an enormous step backwards in the growing-my-hair-out process. but if anyone knows how to do it it's me. I made sure the stylist cut out all of my drastic layers and split ends, so that this is probably the last serious haircut I'll have to get for a long time. Now all of my hair can grow at the same pace, rather than the top being dramatically shorter than the bottom.

Two weeks from today and I'll be in my first day of Thanksgiving break. :D After that it's downhill to Christmas, but my life will essentially suck complete ass until finals are over. I have another Biochem exam on Tuesday and I feel like I NEVER STOP STUDYING for that stupid class. Uuugh, what a world.

Ok. I'm going to go eat something delightful now, like Ramen.

"So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go"
-- J Denver

*Gasp!*

Well, I suppose it's only fair that if Kristen knows, everybody knows. The dragon icon I use for my blogger is actually a tattoo which I designed myself. In fact, it's my tattoo. It's below and just behind my right hip. I had it done the day after my 21st birthday, as a "I just kicked complete ass and got into pharmacy school" gift to myself. I adore it.

That is all.

Let's Accelerate

So there's a fast-track version of pharmacy school that will allow me to graduate 8 months early. This is of course very attractive for multiple reasons:

• Eight months more of pay as a full-fledged pharmacist
• LESS SCHOOL
• LESS SCHOOL
• LESS SCHOOL
• And more life
  

However, similiar to most big decisions, it has its share of negatives as well. For one thing, it would be even more intense than what I'm dealing with now. I wouldn't necessarily be taking more classes at a time, but my summer breaks would cease to exist except for summer of 2008, in which I would only have to dedicate three weeks to a clerkship. I would still have all holiday breaks as usual, but getting out early means logging in extra time somewhere else. Although I can say (even now) that breaks are a necessity, having four solid months off in the summer is a great amount of time for my brain to frizz, my motivation to wane, and my wheels to spin, so to speak. On the flipside, it means I wouldn't be bringing in any money because I might not even be able to work in the summers. Financial Aid is of course available, and I wouldn't be paying any more tuition for the accelerated track than I would the one I'm in now, but I like to have my cushion in case I need to buy something (like a car).

Living arrangements would be very tricky because I would be making my move from Big Rapids to either Grand Rapids or Kalamazoo a year from this January (which in the accelerated track would mark the beginning of my "third" year). But I would graduate in the fall of 2009, almost a full school year ahead of the rest of my class. I had been led to believe that this fast track only cut me loose a semester early, in which case I didn't think it was worth it. One semester early to sacrifice my summer breaks? But eight months.... is very significant.

So here I sit. Torn. The truth is, I want to be out of school as soon as possible for a multitude of reasons, the majority of which have to do with just being plain worn out from the intensity of it all. But a big part of me just wants to start my life. I want to get married and move into a house. I want to make money instead of giving it all away. I want to see my family and my friends more, and I want to be able to go out for an entire day without feeling guilty about the pile of homework I left behind. I sit here at the beginning of four years, and it's daunting.

I'm not really sure what to do with this. I have lots of time to commit or turn it down, but there are so many factors to consider.

Well I know I'm thirteen minutes late, but Happy Halloween. I hope you all didn't show off your boobies too much. ;)