Monday, August 09, 2021

It's Like A Rocking Chair...

Worry has been a constant companion since I was a kid.  I can remember feeling worried that I swallowed my own saliva because I didn't think that was normal to do.  My Grandmother once helped me in the bathroom and she folded up the toilet paper in a nice, neat square, which made me worried that I was doing it wrong because I always just balled it up.

Perhaps the worry I remember the most from my childhood involved my mother.  Growing up, my mother was a little overweight.  I had an awareness of that and it made me feel really terribly guilty, even though I wasn't thinking about it in a malicious or judgmental way at all.  I just knew it was true -- the same way I knew my Dad was a boy and my Mom a girl.  And, even though I never brought it up, the thought of it nagged at me a lot.  I knew my Mom would feel so bad if I commented on her weight, even though the way she looked had no impact on how deeply I loved her.

That anxiety followed me into adulthood.  Some of it I got over -- like the fear of disappointing my family or my friends.  I don't live in fear of my parents or my siblings being mad at me anymore.  But a few years ago I became a mother, and now worrying about something happening to my child is a darkness that follows me everywhere.

I have horrible thoughts of him dying or being hurt.  Of him being sad or alone.  Sometimes I even have flashes of what my life would be without him in it, and just the thought of it is so awful that I feel sick.  Suffocated. I know that even if I lived on after he was gone, I would die inside and never revive.  

It's really horrible, and I wish I knew what to do to cope with it. 


Saturday, June 26, 2021

Burnout

 After 11 years as a pharmacist, I can officially say I'm burned out.  It's so discouraging after all the work and heart I put into getting where I am, but the truth is, if I could do something else and earn as good of a living for my family, I would leave it all behind and pivot to a different career.  I have problems with depression and anxiety now.  I don't remember the last time I had a day that wasn't stressful.

Is it because I'm a manager, or is it pharmacy?  Probably a little of both, but it doesn't really matter.  There's no way for me to work full time as a pharmacist and not be some kind of manager.  

I'm trapped.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Mom

 I wish you were still alive so I could make you jewelry.  I wish you were here to see the paintings I've made.

Saturday, March 20, 2021

The Absolute Worst

 A new champion takes the throne as the Absolute Worst Person I've ever had to deal with as a pharmacist, which is saying a lot, considering she's up against eleven years of contenders.  She's so awful that I've even gone so far as to declare that I won't be speaking with her going forward, which is a very un-leadership sort of thing to say, but hey, I'm a person too.


Sometimes you just lose.


Saturday, March 13, 2021

Nostalgia, Part II: Grandma E's House

 Grandma E's house:

  • The front porch (screened in)
  • The wooden footstool on the porch (it had a painted animal on it -- a puppy?)
  • Wind chime
  • The diamond window in the front door
  • The built-in dining room cabinets (with hidden stereo)
  • The green sewing chair (MY FAVORITE THING EVER)
  • All the stuff in the end table drawer 
  • Marble-topped coffee table
  • Tiles in the bathroom
  • Taking baths with shaving cream and foam animals
  • The hallway clock
  • The hallway built-in desk-thing (?)
  • Hallway closet
  • The sewing room with the cat pin cushion
  • Grandma's jewelry boxes
  • Big fancy desk (was in Grandma's room, moved to sewing room eventually)
  • Aunt Diane's room upstairs 
  • Aunt Diane's closet with the curtains
  • The completely hideous orange light fixture hanging from a black chain in the kitchen
  • Orange counter tops
  • Copper pig
  • Magnets on the fridge
  • Holiday decorations (especially Easter and Christmas)
  • THE BASEMENT
  • Old rotary phones
  • Antique glass vases (I have one of the tall blue ones)
  • Zodiac ashtray
  • Polka-dot elephant toy chest
  • Mom's old Barbies
  • The china cabinet full of figurines 
  • The dirt cellar (right??)
  • The basement tiles looked like ants 
  • The basement bathroom wallpaper
  • The secret rooms under the stairs 
  • The iron and brass owl with green eyes (now in my office)
  • Bowling pins and other toys in the garage
  • Big Wheels 
  • The dip in the sidewalk 
  • Washing Grandma's car
  • Spying on the neighbors 
  • Being afraid of the Praying Hands
  • Playing with the ceramic farm animals (especially the chickens) above the fridge (also the metal objects, like the coo-coo clock, which I now have, and I think a well)
  • The BIRD I was obsessed with but can't quite remember how it looked 
  • Coasters
  • Going to the bowling alley
  • Spending a week there in the summer
  • Ugly green couch with afghan 
  • Seeing the red tails on airplanes 
  • Grandpa calling me "Tiger"
  • Keyholes in bedroom doors 


Friday, March 12, 2021

The One Thing I Know for Sure

The center of my universe has been my insane, magnificent love for my child.  He's only five years old -- so innocent to the absolute shit show of a world we live in -- and yet, when I hold him, I feel safe.

Thursday, February 11, 2021

Nostalgia Part I : Grandma's House

 Grandma J's

  • Pocket door
  • Glass doorknobs
  • Pirate ship on the clock in toy room (did I imagine that??)
  • Rainbow floor rug
  • Tiger's baseball stickers on the back of the door
  • The puppies on the dresser
  • Laundry chute 
  • Seashell nightlight
  • Really ugly tree-branch comforter on front bedroom bed
  • Coo-coo clock
  • Some weird crochet character chip-clips (????)
  • Creepy foot rug
  • The smell of the basement
  • "Window" going down the basement stairs
  • Horse bookends
  • Snoopy cologne bottle (which I now own)
  • Grandpa's workshop/wood carvings
  • Spoon collection 
  • Green and blue plastic cups which used to belong to Dad
  • High chair with beads
  • Plastic farm animals
  • Pancakes
  • Sesame Street plates
  • Bucket of plastic army soldiers under toy room bed
  • White headboard and butterfly comforter on toy room bed
  • Boyscout lamp made from beer bottles
  • Basement closet
  • Grandma drawing an invisible line down the center of the bed (with barbed wire and poisonous snakes) so Kristen and I didn't kill each other during the night
  • The lamppost picture-thing that used to flank the front door (gone now)
  • The sound of cars driving past in the morning
  • The Christmas stockings
  • All the Christmas parties 
  • Grandpa  --  Just everything about him, but mostly...
    • "Cold hands, warm heart"
    • Amanda the Panda
    • His laugh
    • Gave me dollar bills to buy sketch books to encourage me to draw
    • The way he smelled
    • Fish kisses
    • That time at Ponderosa when he gave the waitress dollar bills every time she went by because she was cute and the "service was amazing"
    • Being Santa
    • The way he bossed Grandma around but in a lovey sort of way because everyone knew she was in charge 







Friday, January 29, 2021

When You Need to Make a List**

 Things that I've come to loathe in the last year:

  • Hypocrites
  • White Supremacists
  • Racists
  • The Confederate Flag (aka traitor flag)
  • Lying and getting away with it
  • People who don't give a single shit about anyone but themselves
  • People who won't wear a face mask to help protect their community 
  • Sexists 
  • Billionares (also millionares, or the top 1% who control everything)
  • The absolute power of money
  • Our ass-backwards healthcare system 
  • COVID
  • The Electoral College
  • Basically half the Senate 
  • Social Media (mostly Twitter, but also Facebook)
  • Extremists 
  • Being a manager
  • Did I mention Billionaires 
  • Climate Change 

**Not all-inclusive at this time 

Once Upon A Time....

When you don't know where to start, the beginning is always a good place to try. I was born into a Catholic family in the mid-1980s. My ...