Monday, August 09, 2021

It's Like A Rocking Chair...

Worry has been a constant companion since I was a kid.  I can remember feeling worried that I swallowed my own saliva because I didn't think that was normal to do.  My Grandmother once helped me in the bathroom and she folded up the toilet paper in a nice, neat square, which made me worried that I was doing it wrong because I always just balled it up.

Perhaps the worry I remember the most from my childhood involved my mother.  Growing up, my mother was a little overweight.  I had an awareness of that and it made me feel really terribly guilty, even though I wasn't thinking about it in a malicious or judgmental way at all.  I just knew it was true -- the same way I knew my Dad was a boy and my Mom a girl.  And, even though I never brought it up, the thought of it nagged at me a lot.  I knew my Mom would feel so bad if I commented on her weight, even though the way she looked had no impact on how deeply I loved her.

That anxiety followed me into adulthood.  Some of it I got over -- like the fear of disappointing my family or my friends.  I don't live in fear of my parents or my siblings being mad at me anymore.  But a few years ago I became a mother, and now worrying about something happening to my child is a darkness that follows me everywhere.

I have horrible thoughts of him dying or being hurt.  Of him being sad or alone.  Sometimes I even have flashes of what my life would be without him in it, and just the thought of it is so awful that I feel sick.  Suffocated. I know that even if I lived on after he was gone, I would die inside and never revive.  

It's really horrible, and I wish I knew what to do to cope with it. 


Once Upon A Time....

When you don't know where to start, the beginning is always a good place to try. I was born into a Catholic family in the mid-1980s. My ...