Kalamazoo

Since my last update I moved not only myself to school, but also Mike back to Benzonia for another year of teaching. I also got to attend Shruti's fabulous White Coat Ceremony, and see my brother in his very first apartment on his own. I spent a marvelous day shopping with the Mom without a care in the world, and a few more precious nights asleep in my own bed, before my life transitioned back to school again.

I've moved into my newest apartment in Kalamazoo, the very city where I began my college journey six years ago. I'm living in the same complex that Mike and I lived in together before I went away to Ferris, only this time in a studio instead of a two-bedroom. It feels strange to be back here again, but I'm glad for it too. I missed this city a lot, and I know that soon I will be enjoying it once again. I love my new apartment--it's very cozy and very me. I think I will enjoy this year much more because of it, and because of the ideal location of it. I'm mostly unpacked now, and school won't start until September 2nd, so I've got some time to wind my brain up.

As always, I didn't want t leave home. It's so difficult to hug Mom and Dad goodbye, knowing it will be several weeks, maybe even a couple months, before I'll see them again. I so enjoyed being at home this summer, which made it all the more difficult to leave. I'm happy I got to spend one great day of shopping with Mom before the summer officially ended. I blinked back tears as I drove away, and waved until the house was out of sight.

*sigh* Another year at school.

I'm somewhat anxious for class to begin. This year will be different than the previous two--this year, the training wheels will start to come off. I'm nervous to be in a new campus, to meet new professors, and to begin a new internship. I'm worried that I haven't progressed as far as I should have in the two years I've been gone. I'm worried I won't live up to my own high expectations.

I'm going up north tomorrow with Mike to visit his parents' cabin for Labor Day weekend. I'm very excited! I'm also happy I won't be stuck here alone for a long holiday weekend, with lots of time to worry over school and even more time to miss my family and feel sad. By the time I get back class will start, and the chaos associated with it will take over.

Mostly, I'm sad. I miss my parents and my dog. I miss home.

Here We Go Again

Today Chris moved out of the house for the very first time, to begin his college career. This is strange for me, because growing up my brother and I were always out in the backyard, playing with dinosaurs and transformers all summer. He's five years younger than me. Always so little and so far behind... but now he's gone too. I wonder how Mom and Dad will do without their children. I wonder if things will change for the better... or worse? Hopefully they will come to enjoy their togetherness thoroughly, though I'm sure it will be difficult to live in this quiet house at times.

I miss him. Even though I'll be moving myself on Saturday, and I won't even be in the house to realize that he's gone, I'll still know that he's not home, where he's always been. I feel like an enormous presence has been removed from here. It's so quiet. Some of the vibrant life has been evaporated.

For me, things begin to spin more quickly. Tomorrow I'm getting several maintenance things taken care of with my car, then I have to go to the Secretary of State to figure out how I'm going to vote in Kalamazoo in November (because my vote counts damn it), and a bunch of other random finish-packing sort of things. I work Friday, and Saturday morning I move. We move Mike on Sunday, and we're also going to Shruti's White Coat Ceremony Sunday afternoon. Monday it's unpacking, Tuesday it's back here to spend the day with Mom and Dad, and Wednesday I'll be finishing up unpacking in Kzoo. Labor Day weekend I'll be up north again, and then school.

Here we go again.

On the Edge of My Seat

........ as I watched Michael Phelps make history.

Serious kudos.

Yet Again

It occurred to me in the middle of recent chaos that I move next Saturday, the 23rd of August. I move back to pharmacy school, and away from the summer life I'm always wary to begin, but always tremendously sad to leave behind. Soon I'll be alone in my apartment, with homework to do at night instead of knitting and watching a movie with Mom. I'll be making my dinner for one, instead of eating at the table with my family. When I go to sleep at night it will be dark and quiet, without the warmth of my puppy at my feet and without the morning noises of my parents getting ready for work. There won't be spontaneous trips to Walmart with Mom, or pilates with a partner, or sunset bike rides. There will be less conversation, more concentration, as I make the transition back to school for the sixth year in a row.

I've mentioned this transition before. My double life--my school life, my summer life. It's always as one comes to a close that I realize I love them both very much for very different reasons. When I sit alone, like I am now, and think about moving away from my family again for another grueling nine months of grad school, I get scared. Not because I can't do it, but because I got used to being with them again. I got used to having them around every day, every night. I grew accustomed to hearing Dad tell me to drive safe to work. It doesn't seem like it's coming, but in just about two weeks I'll be without it all. Back to being an adult, being independent, taking care of myself. I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be enjoying that tremendously.

But right now, in my parents house with Colby asleep next to me, thinking about leaving it just makes me want to cry.

Missing You

My Grandma passed away this evening. It wasn't unexpected, but it was tremendously sad. Something is empty now that wasn't yesterday.

Today, someone who has always been there will be gone for the first time. For me, the world got smaller today.

Missing you Grandma. I love you 8/11/08

Wickedness

Well, looks like I've gone another full week without updating. I don't know why. I don't know why!

This weekend I was in East Lansing, and Mike took me to the Wharton Center to see the awesome musical Wicked!! It was honestly an amazing show, and I had lots of spectacular fun watching it! The actors/actresses were all so talented, and their voices were so beautiful, and the props and costumes blew me away!! Not to mention, it was something fun and romantic to do with Mike, and we got to dress up! :D Yay!!

I also got to see Shruti this weekend! I haven't seen her since my first week of summer vacation, when I helped her scout out a place to live in Lansing for med school. We cooked her our favorite salmon dish, then we went out and played on a playground for a while. :D

It's August btw, which only means one thing. Pharmacy School. Fuck.


On a very worrisome note, my 92 year old grandmother is in very bad shape in the hospital right now. :( She's contracted pneumonia, and has recently suffered her second heart attack. If praying is what you do, please send one up for her. :'-(