The Letter

Ferris sent out the pharmacy addmission letters yesterday. Which means they're in the mail. I know I've probably spoken of this so many times before, but perhaps it's just an unconscious habit of mine to relay just how important their decision is to me. I will try again of course, if the answer is no--and I've always had a realistic fear in me that that's exactly what it will say. 500 qualified people. What are the odds, afterall, that I'm among the 150 lucky ones? Or is it luck at all? Yet despite all my doubts, I can't help by think each day of what it would feel like if the answer was yes. If by some stroke of fate the time was just right, my GPA was just high enough, and there was something about my application that said to them--she wants it.

This scares me, because I only have a day or two to remain blissfully ignorant before the verdict will arrive. Only a day or two more to hold on to that wonderful feeling of hope... before it is either shattered or fulfilled. And despite my eagerness to finally know, to put an end to the wondering and the frustrating process of waiting--I find myself wishing I could just continue to dream and imagine my joyful reaction, rather than actually know the truth. What if I have to remain here at WMU another year? What good will all this pre-excitement do if the bottom line is a mere rejection?

But what's done is done. As I've said, there is always next year. If the time is not right, it will be soon, and presistence will get me there. There are many smarter than I. Many who've no doubt worked harder. Many who want it just as bad. But I can say this without a doubt--no one wants it more.

And you can take that to the bank.