I've made the transition

I'm here. I've done it.

Today my life changed again. Today I moved to a new city, a new school, where I'll meet new friends and try to keep up with new classes. I'm in a dorm room again for the first time in three years, and my first thought upon walking into it was almost comically simple--"Oh my God, I'm in a dorm again." Truly, that about sums it up.

This morning I left my apartment, Mike, Kalamazoo, WMU, my friends, the comfortable, and didn't look back. Certainly not because those things don't mean the world to me, but because I knew if I looked back I wouldn't have the courage to surge forward. I wouldn't be able to squash all the fear and sadness beneath that frail curtain of hope and excitement that I found myself clinging to for dear life all day. If I looked back, my eyes would've clouded with tears, and I would've turned around.

I said goodbye to Mike out in the parking lot, in the rain. The day I never wanted to come, yet so desperately hoped for, is finally here. And as I watched his car until I couldn't see it anymore (and even long after it had disappeared), I realized that I loved him more in that moment than I ever had before. I loved him for letting me go enough to let me do this. For being completely unselfish. For loving me so much.

I don't really have a lot of time to collect myself. My room looks like a department store threw up in it, and I have orientation bright and early tomorrow. I have to get my student ID, my laundry card, my meal plan, and unpack the parts of my life I brought with me. And class starts on Monday--with lots of homework I'm sure.

I'll be back. Happier, healed, and with more details. Probably tomorrow. For now, I need to find my pillow.