Mike and I are creeping up on the one-year-until-the-wedding mark on the good ol' calendar, but the closer it gets the more I fret about all the stuff that I need to accomplish in the meantime. And I don't mean wedding planning stuff--that's a lot of fun and I could seriously do it all day. No lie. It's all the other stuff, and mostly school. School for me is going to END before I get married, and although that may not seem too dramatic to some, for me it has always been difficult to imagine life After School. I simply have known nothing else. Ever.
This time next year I will be a very small handful of weeks away from graduating, FINALLY. As I've already mentioned in previous blog posts, the thought of that day is both exhilarating and terrifying, but mostly it's terrifying. The gap between Amanda the Student and Amanda the Pharmacist seems simply impossible to close at this point, yet somehow it will be done in the next 13 months. And that's what I keep thinking about--before Mike and I can get married and party, I've got to close this F-ing gap. How?? How will I ever pull it off? How will I make it through another year of feeling cramped, confined, temporary, money-depraved, and desperate for spare-time? How will I make it through another year of long-distance from Mike and friends, and from the Rest of My Life? Will I have the money to pull it off, the time to plan my own wedding, and most importantly, will I be ready to take it on when they finally give me my license and set me loose on the world?
I just don't know. All I really know, all I can think about, is that Mike will be waiting in his tux at the finish line. There are moments when I'm so mentally exhausted that picturing him in that chapel is the only thing that keeps me jumping the hurdles.
7 comments:
you know...you do it one step at a time. and if you trip, you ask me, b/c i'm a pro at resolving trips...i even help pro trippers out. call me at 1800-trip-free-pharmacy-degree.
p.s. a wise woman once told me "one day at a time"...guess who it was? :)
Lol, fair enough ;)
You're not the only one thinking about Mike in his tux at the finish line. Mmmm hmm hmm hmm. Hmm hmm hmmmmm.
Also, crazy, I thought you two cuddle-bunnies were getting married this summer. Well I guess that gives me more time to not have to get dressed up.
(Oh PS my name link this time is NSFW blah blah blah)
Lol, no no, we're getting married in June 2010. We considered this summer, but decided there wouldn't be enough time to plan everything. And also, it would just be better if I were graduated. ;)
One day at a time, you will do it :) It is always easier to get through hard or scary things when you realize the end of the day will come, and tomorrow will be the next day. I knoowwww you can do it xox
Aww, thanks Kate! That was so sweet :) I miss you girlie XOXOXO
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