Cabin Weekend and 4th Year

Last weekend was my annual Groovy-Up-North-Vacation weekend, which was a total blast, as usual. Mike's parents were up at his family cabin, so we got to chum with them for quite a bit, playing boardgames (which Mike won every time) and drinking delicious margaritas. The weather wasn't spectacular, but we still got a really nice sunny day to visit Mackinac Island and a day without rain to enjoy the beach. :) It was too windy for Mike to do much sailing, which was a damn shame because it was a job getting that sailboat down to the shore without a trailer (not to mention putting it together without getting knocked unconscious). Surely good quality bonding time with my future hubby, though. ;) The water was freezing and we clung desperately to the infrequent rays of sunshine, but I got a hot little tan and had a blast anyway. And they got me a birthday cake, which is just full of awesome.

Sadly, returning home not only meant an end to my vacation, but also the beginning of the next new and scary step in my education. Tuesday was my first day of 4th year, my very last which I'll ever be in school. Do you know what it feels like to say that?

In general, my clinical rotations (the whopping 2 days worth which I've survived) have been like nothing I've ever done before. For the first time I'm actually expected to know things, as crazy as that sounds. All at once it is humiliating and exhilarating, as I realize simultaneously just how much I don't know and yet how far I've come. I'm truly on the last leg of this journey.

Next Monday I start the real stuff. I'll be assigned to a team with an attending physician, a senior physician, and two residents. I will be the only pharmacist on the team. Pharmacist, of course, being a term I still use loosely because at best I'm probably about 3/4 of a pharmacist (if that). When there's a drug question, they'll ask me. Me me. And only me. That is just about the scariest thing I've ever thought about in my life.

So far I've learned lots of useful things, like:

• No more daydreaming. Honestly, there is absolutely no time to day dream. This sucks a lot for me.
• Don't write notes on the handouts Dr. Hagerman gives you, because she will take them like a dirty rat and not give them back! Write them down on a separate sheet of paper.
• Don't be afraid. Not because there's no reason to be, but because there simply isn't time to be afraid.

On the bright side, once this newness wears off, I might come out one giant leap closer to the final product. And, I've only been there two days, and have already received two free books. F-ing sweet.