The 2 AM Conspiracy

A conversation with Mike prompted the following random, completely pointless thought....

... Sometimes in the middle of the night, usually around a time when I'm a little more stressed or worried (aka an exam, the first day of a new rotation, etc etc) I wake up unexpectedly. I never, EVER wake up in the middle of the night without looking at the clock, so quite naturally this is the first thing I do. Only on these specific occasions, the clock might say, oh, 2:30 AM for example, and I have just no idea what that means. Is 2:30 AM good or bad? I don't know. I stare and stare, usually squinting because I'm a fraction away from being completely blind, and try to make sense out of it. Eventually I start to become paranoid, like time is some kind of conspiracy created by the government to give me seizures. Or I imagine that I've missed something hugely important and now I must panic. Eventually I realize that 2:30 AM is not a bad thing--in fact, usually it's a good thing because 2:30 AM means I still don't have to get up for several hours--and I obsessive compulsively check my alarm half a dozen times to make sure it's set properly before going back to sleep (usually feeling ashamed and embarrassed). I thought that maybe I was the only one who experienced this (layers of my sanity have been slowly peeling away for years now), but I was delighted to discover today that this happens to Mike too! And.... and maybe other people!

.................

Anyway, not being in school has been super-fantastic. I don't have to drive at least an hour to go somewhere and work for less than free and then come home and attempt to squeeze eight hours worth of studying/working out/being social/wedding planning into a three hour block of time. I can visit people whenever I want instead of just on Saturday and Sunday. If I want to see my fiance, I can just go and see him. OMG.

The downside of being out of school is that now the majority of my days are filled almost exclusively with studying for the board exams. THIS IS AWFUL FOR ME. The NAPLEX covers everything that I learned in school, aside from law which is covered separately. How does one go about studying everything??? I read my entire NAPLEX review guide (900 pages) but somehow feel dumber than I did when I started. So much work left to do and so little time that I just feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I just have to not think about it so that my blood pressure can return to normal.

I also realized that I'm getting married in four weeks. Seriously, OMG. Trying to squeeze in wedding details around studying and visiting loved ones has been a little hairy. I can't believe Mike and I have reached this point. I'm so excited. Much like graduation, I doubt it will feel real until comes up and bites me in the armpit.

I got to visit my sister Kristen this weekend, which I very much wanted to do before the wedding. I was able to meet some of her crew members (which was quirky and fun ;) ), eat cake and ice cream, play hours and hours of Zelda, and see her new car!! Ok, she has cup holders with color changing lights!!. I don't even have cup holders. That's pretty badass. I had a blast and of course was sad to leave. I was also able to visit my Grandma while downstate. I love visiting Grandma--talking to her is good for my soul. :) And she gave me Christmas cookies. *squeal*

This week I'm going to study my lady balls off and then visit Mike from Wednesday on. Bizzy bizzy bizzy.