For Future Reference...

I should start keeping a record of all the ridiculous excuses patients come up with to get their controlled medications prescriptions filled early. Today alone would lengthen such a list significantly. Let's enjoy! :D

Patient: "But I'm out!"

Me: "We gave you thirty day supply 13 days ago."

Patient: "Then how do you explain this??"

________

Patient: "I'm going out of town, so I'll need that filled early."

Me: "Okay. For how long will you be out of town?"

Patient: "Two weeks."

Me: "..... You still have enough to last 21 more days."

Patient: "It'll probably be longer than two weeks then!"

________

Me: "I can fill it but I'm going to need to verify with the doctor about this dose change."

Patient: "You can't call my doctor! He doesn't take calls!"
Me: "..... Okay, yes he does."

Patient: "He won't speak to pharmacists!"

________

Me: "You've been taking it four times a day?! Your doctor prescribed it for once daily."

Patient: "But if I don't get my clonazepam filled I'll have a panic attack and GO BLIND!"

________

I couldn't make better shit up.