Here's the Fill-Up

Life's been a blur lately. School has been hectic with not only midterms but an odd rush of quizzes, projects, and reading. The week after spring break will be almost as bad, for all those professors who didn't make the midterm deadline.

Mike's mother underwent quad bypass surgery recently at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. The procedure was successful, which is great news--hopefully she will make the lifestyle changes necessary to prevent this from happening again. She's been granted a second chance. Even though I'm very glad she's okay, I actually feel worse for Mike than I do for her; it's an odd feeling of mine to even try to explain. There he is, being accused of never being there except for weddings and heart attacks (and they laugh as if it's a friendly joke), and I occasionly wonder how that makes him feel. I feel to a certain degree as if he's being blamed for her mistake, and it hurts. But perhaps after all this time it doesn't hurt him anymore. Maybe he's over it. For me, with Mike still a relatively new addition to my life and his situation tender and fresh in my mind, it's at times difficult for me to hold my peace. I know everything about Mike--from the way he likes his grilled cheese sandwiches to the color straw he wants with his Slurpee. And I wonder... what do these people know? They've been absent from his life since he was very, very young. How can they tell him what to do when it comes to his mother, when she gave that right up so long ago? Even so, he loves her in the way a child almost has to love a mother, and I respect that. I'm glad even, of that capacity to forgive. In many ways, he's certainly a better person than I am.

So we're into Spring Break now, and much like every spring break before it, it's come just in time. I can think back to my freshmen year spring break, and how I thought it would somehow repair the damage to my relationship with Andy. Perhaps the magic of a tropical land would heal it somehow. And then last year it was a much needed retreat from the drama of my apartment. This year, I just need a break from it all--from work, from homework, and from Kalamazoo in general.

Beth and Matt aren't coming until late tomorrow night, and I'm so excited. Of all my friends in high school, Beth has been the one that I've seen on a very regular basis since my graduation. I've shared some awesome memories with her, and I can't believe this is the first time we've ever gone on an actual trip together.

Later Mike and I are heading out to spend an evening with the Battle Creekers before we leave. Until then, I've got just enough homework to keep me busy, and plenty of cleaning to do. heh, all my favorite things.