Oh my God. Two and a half weeks. I wish I had no concept of time right now. I wish I could enjoy it all without hearing that ticking clock in the back of my mind. I wish I didn't have so damn much to do before those two weeks are gone. How I wish I could spend each and every moment laughing, loving, and holding on. It all seems so dramatic. So life-changing. I can picture it in my mind but I wonder if it will be better than I imagine or worse.
I'm worried that all I need to get accomplished I won't be able to. My liscense. Packing up my life. Visiting home. Mentally and emotionally preparing myself for a massive change. Each day I wake up one day closer and it scares the crap out of me. Maybe it shouldn't--but it does.
On a good day I see my life as exactly where I want it to be right now. I've got a wonderful family, great friends who love me, a stable, happy relationship, and the graduate school of choice coming my way. But on a bad day all I can think about is how different it will be very soon, and how hard life sometimes is when it changes. I've tackled many fears in the past several weeks head-on, and although I still have a few more to go, I find myself struggling to stay on my feet. I know everything will be ok but I'd rather not find out if I'm right the hard way.
When this is all over and I'm there, I'm going to pat myself on the back. When I lay in bed that first night trying to find sleep, I'm going to tell myself how proud I am for going through with it--for not taking the easier route. I know the pay off for all this will be almost immediate. One thing I learned in my three years at WMU (and in almost every realm of my life) is to never settle for less. This is life, and here it comes.
Here it comes fast.
8 comments:
*Rob Schneider* You can do it! */Rob Schneider*
No seriously, I know you know that, but I just thought I'd reinforce the fact that you never cease to amaze me: your determination, hard work, and endless accomplishment. I mean look at you! Effin' Ferris State!
Maybe it's the Jack Daniels, or the acid I just dropped, or the massive toke I just... toked, but the fact that you're going ahead with all this, leaving the warm and comfortable for the unknown, takes massive ladyballs. (Massive labia? Eeew never mind, where's the backspace key.) You're not letting it hold you back and that is what makes extraordinary people.
I know for certain that one day there will be a huge entry on you in Wikipedia that I can deface by writing about your not-real death. And as I click the Submit button, I'll be able to sit back in quiet reflection and think, "That's Dr. Amanda Jobin. I once wrote 'massive labia' in her blog."
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Oh man. I can't even think of something witty in reply. That was just too good, yet at the same time it was nicely blended with a special kind of sentiment which only the real Michael Jordan is capable of (the real Michael Jordan being you of course ;) ). Thank you. I'm touched beyound words by your 'massive labia' contribution to my life. ;D
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! that was hilarious!
but seriously, i can't WAIT for her to become world famous! gosh, she's going to be SO drugged up then! *giggles in excitement*
Haha, there's going to be so much pharmacy humor in this blogger for the rest of its days. ^_^
Oh you silly ladies, take a chill pill.
That's... that's the best I can do.
Sorry.
It's ok Mikey. You're still comedic gold to me. ;)
haha..i get it too! :o *YAY*
i bet she mentioned gold because you're the beholder of all the 'chill pills'...and SOMEONE's got their eye on them! she's GOT TO suck up! I mean, HOW ELSE is she going to get a massive stock of chill pills for her world famous pharmacy?!
now if omnipotent 'I' happen to say 'comedic gold' it would be alright, because i'm not a drug addict! ;D
Seriously Shruti, someday you're going to come to me for Nexium (the healing purple pill) for your acid reflux disease, and I'm going to remind you of the time you teased me about taking a Tums--THEN I'LL LAUGH IN YOUR HYPOCRITICAL FACE!!! MWA HAHAHAHA!!!
Nah I'm kidding. I would never do that to my nerdy soulmate. :*
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